email me at ross@tourettes.com.au
You can check out the Tourettes site at www.tourettes.com.au
August 17, 2005
After being harassed by Hans the motivator I am here committing myself to writing stuff. I realise now that it has been two months since I wrote my last entry, which is basically pretty slack. Of course things never work out the way plans are laid and the best laid plans........
You know the rest!
Now it seems that a lot has happened in the time I haven't written. heaps actually. max was here and then gone again, tried to get a little bit of work, (didn't really get any decent work yet either) then just got super busy with Tourettes, went mad and now it's today. The end!
No no - I will write more. Fuck and bother. Where to start is the question-
It all begins with the merch & promo story. Seeing as I have seemed to have had no life I can only believe that "my life once had" was recently abducted, whisked away and impaled upon an albatross shaped spike with the words Tourettes merch & promo scratched out by the finger nails of starving, candle warmed, artist garret dwellers. Presumably led to their cause by their severely addled brains, 'cause God only knows why else we keep breathing!
What?
You heard me motherfuckers. I am the star of this show. Set the lights....
Scene One
Ross is sitting at his computer.
"Fuck this shit" he mumbles to himself as he pretends to know what he's doing.
Cue audience laughter (canned - think the Mallory Knox show).
Nice. Now let's inhale the fumes from some Turpentine based poster ink. Hour after hour. One night with Quigs, then alone. Then we play stick 'em ups and the rest is history. Quickly told in the main. Deliver us from our sin as we have delivered others. Advertising is a dirty word in my bible. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
What I think I am meaning to say is that we made the fucking posters then put them up over others and then others were put up over ours in a war of attrition that was only over when rations had all but been whittled away. I cannily got the running order of dates out of order and I suppose our on going yet surely mutually satisfying relationship with Sydney posters did the rest. And it was adieus amigos or however you spell it . I resigned from the tenured position of chief poster wrangler and refuse to be involved in that kind of merriment again so long as I both shall live. Didn't I tell you to shut up I am the one talking!!!!
Oh yeh
Thanks to Jasco cause he da man. I went to his house and his flatmates knew the aforementioned astringent aroma well. They would rush home to nuzzle up to the printed fun a day seemingly not complete with out a slight asphyxia. Think Greek. (Get you minds out of the gutters fucking arse dwellers that's my shtick). I mean lack of oxygen and plane crashes. And that's what I mean about Jasco as my Cessna came in to crash-land he was there like jolt of adrenalin to the heart. Legendary.
In my opening statement to the court I heard myself say, "This is shit dude. I am over it!" To which the foreperson promptly asserted that if it was up to him he'd fuck off right then and get that beer they had been wishing for at lunch. It was a hot day after all and the jury room seemed to swelter and groan under the weight of 12 beleagued minds. But we got through.
We suffered through the abandonment of Suffer, we fixed the unfixable, the already gone to print yet inevitable last minute change. Double handling it was too and our shop steward, the inimitable Miss Michele Madden, made damn sure that the bosses paid extra. We weren't working a single overtime shift under those conditions.
What had our forefathers fought for if it wasn't for cold beer and virgin rose buds. Hard pressed as they were to adhere to the duty-laden promises of those heterosexuals. They couldn't find the need and by now I am sure you'll agree with me when I say that I can't find the energy either. I mean bringing up baby is like having a DVD to make and labouring until you perineum splits causing massive haemorrhaging, not to speak of the discomfort afforded the likely candidate by the no doubt communicable nature of the pizza that is existing in a cheesy mess by the side of your face - you disease ridden mess! Do I have a witness!!!!!!!!!! (think Gospel Church)
Do I ever crap on!
So the fuckin poster looks like this
Notice how the dates are out of order.
Next came the dvd. Well it took a year to get Crusty Boy to finish the Don't Blame Me clip - so that really set the tone in the end. I was seen several times stumbling up William St towards Elizabeth bay, sick as a dog sweating and crying.
If someone has a car with rego they want to donate you can call me on 0402 202 426 cause I am sick of fucking walking the streets of Sydney and need to get things done a little quicker than my snails pace ambulatory efforts offer. Ask yourself if you efforts offer? Anything? Do they? Probably not in my experience. Except if you are a fucking Hobbyist. I for one, much like Ferris Bueller, don't believe in "ists". I am on the blot so you can crack me up the shitter, if you know what I mean!
Mop it up sunshine!
Scar fuck me while you're at it and call me up asking for money! Yeh yeh that's right, it's in the mail!
oh yeh so it took a long time to finish the fucking tourettes dvd. Thanks to the mighty half century that is Chris Wyatt. He put the 24 hours of doom in, held my hand through several states of breakdown, held my head while spewed forth a vitriolic and slanderous torrent upon whomever was in my way and then stitched me up after the jagged edges of the casing split me in half as the neighbours theme reverberated through my brain on loop. Fuck you Harold I thought, you old Queen. Anyway, it was at the church on time, once again Jasco finger fucked the establishment much to their pleasure and dismay. DIY PUNX.
We salute you.
By the way anyone who has had a band and then decided to call it a day cause it was a little too hard has my deep sympathy, however I will say this much. It is better to whinge to your friends about the hardships of keeping a progressive artistic love affair going than it is to throw in the towel completely, 'cause as we all know, but hate to admit, it is longevity that staves off the cancerous malingerers, the harbingers and the hidden depth charges. Stick to you guns or join the ranks of the Hobbyist - an unfortunate demise for anyone really.Fuck I wish I could have read this last week, maybe life would have made more sense and I may not have had to have told everyone that I love to "Fucken Get the Fuck out of MY way you CUNT!!!!" if you know what I mean.
As it turned out we sold about 25 dvds over two gigs on the weekend just passed, so it was all worth it. It has Big Day Out stuff, Don't Blame Me + alt, Stand & a full set from the Annandale 2004. Good value for $20.
So the fuckin dvd cover looks like this
It's a bit of history now. Just make sure you buy one as they won't be around forever.
In-between all that was stuff and more stuff, clips to TV, artwork to Street Press, gigs to finalise, Patches to print. Oh yes Patches. some fun stuff-
So the fuckin patches look like this
there are only twenty-three to collect as one of them didn't really work. oh well
In Brief, mixed with advice on life
by ross ian empson
I worked on a Pepsi ad for India - I did say I hate advertising didn't I? Well I do. Who wouldn't abhor the sale of toxic rotgut to a starving subclass? Fucken drink this so you can win an mp3 player and steal all the music you like. Well how the fuck am I gonna feed my fish if all you cunts steal the fish food? Oh there there little goldfish they didn't mean it, they thought you just was relaxing on the top for a bit. Cue toilet flushing.
It's a small world and Bi Curious guys who can't commit to having there arses fucked quite yet seem to needlessly bother the horny and unwitting.
Took ecstasy again - when the fuck will I learn. Hans, listen up buddy. Fucken great night I was an obvious mess and was commented on by many in the ensuing week. How was my jaw they asked? better than my birthday party in Calgary was my well honed reply - and so it was that I cried all the way home, pushed passed anyone and told others to ....you know the one.....then promptly needed Turkish Pizza but having no money had to settle for more tears and a cheap imported lager called Hollandia. Thank whom ever you like for Beer, there is nothing like it to sooth the rotted guts of a starving subclass!
With my two recent cold sores as evidence, I am a run down mess have had two bouts of the flu also and am need of norishment. Please bring a plate to the Tourettes gig of your choice as I am sure we could do with a feed!
Stuff dick in their mouths
Go on!
If some one is bothering you, don't say anything that might upset them as they may be smarter than you and then turn what you have just said against you. Therefore bottle everything up and go home crying, then proceed to suicidal thoughts, which mutate regularly and are subsequently found laying in a puddle of urine next to the toilet just cause you could.
Fags can all go and die
Fucken Poofs too
Don't prance around me I am the fucking Queen here.
Bears in bikinis are all the rave, so go one grab yourself a handful of truck driving man and felch yesterdays leavings like there is no tomorrow
That said - It's alway been my motto to only accept the highest quality young men for my personal pleasure.
If there are moronic wanna be DJs living upstairs from you the best course of behaviour is to attack them in their sleep with fifteen inches of conduit and a greased up scorpion.
Some people have been very kind to me recently
tama, naomi, samara - they are my favourite girls
Bolt is a leg end as well as he showed great skill in construction of the very desk where I sit this moment.
Brad is always there and my friend Luke.
Max is there on the other end of a telephone, but I do love him dearly
I did get a chance to play bass guitar recently, which was a thrill. Goody gum drops.
And from here good bye.
June 16 Thursday
Today was possibly the most amazing day I have experienced in quite some time. It was full of hope and that is the energy I need to continue. It was full of promise without promises made. Not commitment was forged but still there lay possibilities. And I fuelled upon those ideas and gorged myself in a feast recently unrivalled and certainly unparalleled. How cool! Some week ago in LA I was at work at the desk of the Student Inn. { How quickly I have found myself reinstalled in Sydney. I think I said within a few hours of arriving in Sydney last Monday night that I actually felt, (and honestly that I had just been down to the shop to get some milk, rather than across the globe twice.) Familiarity breeds what ever I am and Sydney is familiar.}
Where was I? Oh yes I was extolling upon the energy reserves held in possibility! That's right, some weeks ago I was sitting at the desk of the Student Inn and I was on the net. Knowing that I am and was rightly fucked financially and beginning to worry about those niggling little credit card debts I decided that looking for work probably wasn't a bad idea and so was surfing Australian career websites, my too favourites being Cracker.com & The Sydney Morning Herald Careers Section. Anyway there was an ad for a job at a film company in downtown Sydney which I applied for. I even went to the trouble of providing my telephone number, which I wasn't even sure I would still have. So weeks later I am in QLD and have forgotten that I even applied for that job. I think it was about 3 weeks ago. To my surprise I got a call yesterday asking if I wanted to come in for an interview. Of course I did, and today the interview was great and I have a second round one next week. so that was nice.
June 15. Sushine Coast Airport Queensland Australia
Wow! gee I seem to spend a bit of time in airports, don't !? I have had a very relaxing week where I didn't stray too far from the Kitchen or TV. Max and I cooked up heaps of good food. It was great just to relax and do fuck all. Looks like I have a job interview tomorrow at a film company in Sydney. I applied for the job online from LA about two weeks ago. I thought it was just another one of those internet things that I never hear about agin and then today Shirley telephoned me for an interview. I would be perfect for the position as I have done all the stuff before in similar small production companies. Anyway we will see! I need to pay back some of the debts that I have accured in the last few months and I would like to do that in a job where I got more satisfaction daily than just serving someone a drink at a cafe or etc. So here goes nothing. Job interviews can really suck. But they will get what they are given from me.
June 8
Got home late on the 6th - Monday. Got my shit together and escaped to QLD the next day. Mum & Dad were happy to see me. Relaxing now. Will write more soon.
6.40 am Bangkok
Well well well. The first thing I want to set straight is that United Airlines does not serve free alcholic beverages in economy class. After a short but surly exchange with my very British stewardess I resigned myself to yet another ginger ale.
7.5 hours later we were in London. I got through UK immigration much quicker than Ash, as I have British passport. He was made to wait in the "other" line which was extremely long. Anyway by the time he got through I had collected our luggage, except for the piece ( Ashley's personal bag ) that had been wrongly directed back to LA from New York. Ash found me at the United Baggage counter where I was working on getting his bag, which by the way they knew was in LA, directly back to Sydney so that it wouldn't have to go New York>London>Bangkok>Sydney. This plan actually started to feel fuckin' great when I realised that we had just saved - get this, approx AUD$1875.00. What I hear you say? We have been travelling with some excess baggage and to get that out of London Heathrow, which is notorious for ridiculous prices for excess weight, would have been 30 Pounds Sterling per Kg ( there are approx 2.5 Australian dollars to the Pound ). Now, if you do the sums you get that out rageous figure above. What? There must be a cheaper way? Well it didn't seem like it when I asked. But the main thing is because Ash's bag didn't make it to London we didn't have to even worry. So thank fuck for that! Fingers crossed that his bag is already in Sydney.
Thai International is the bomb. sexy Thai girls in silk, free beverages ( at last ), heaps of attention from said sexy stewardesses, good movies, lots of offered water/juice, Thai curry food. The list goes on. Thai and Singapore Air are my favs and Quigs said that Asiana was good too on his way back to Calgary - what is it with the western airline up themselves, non give a shit, lax attitude to customer service. My advice is go Asian!
So this is our last leg on the quickest world tour ever. And I am please to say that within half a day i will be on Aussie soil!
5.12 pm
New York (still)
We are now back in terminal 7. Luckily we didn't sit here all night as there is no Net access. It does sport slightly more comfortable seats and me and Ash have both been able to get about 2 hours sleep. We were eventually driven out of terminal 4 by a guy called Rob who kept talking, talking, talking. In fact, and this seems true, he has been in terminal 4 for the past 30 days. Now I know that seems incomprehensible but as I said - it seems true. He has had Visa issues getting to the Philipines to marry his internet bride. With nowhere else to go and limited funds he has turned terminal 4 at New York airport into his apartments extrordinaire. Weird people. Why do we always meet the weird people. I begin to wonder if we are weird. Are people writing blog entries right now about these Crazy Aussies they met, wherever it was we met them???
Well within the hour we will be boarding flight UA 956 for London Heathrow. That comes equiped with cold beverages. Thank God! International flights are always a chance to get my inner alcoholic out for few hours in the liver shaped exercise yard. yippy. Yes sweetheart, I will have another! I feel I may even turn to spirits on this leg. I mean you have to break it up a bit.
I have been reading a couple of different blogs about young men who are reformed alcoholics attending AA etc, getting interventions, relapsing and the detoxing etc. Well, my version is that if it was good enough for Jesus then it's alright by me. Maybe I'll have some wine instead of hitting the hard stuff just to keep Ecumenical/Episcopalian equilibrium in check. I just love a little aliteration on no sleep especially with a biblical slant!
rave rave rave. I kinda arced up my computer thinking I had something interesting to write and now I think that might have passed.
9.14 am
Facts
My soundtrack right now is Lamb of God
The urinals at JFK airport use 3.8 Liters per flush, which is exactly one Gallon.
Gas is 20 -30 cents a Gallon cheaper here in New York than it is in LA. I know this 'cause the "Gulf" ( nice name for an American petrol station ) said so while I was waiting for the Q3.
I really like that Jay Z song - I Just Wanna Love U ( fuck hardline cunts, I'll like what I like )
My chopsticks came in handy for the sardines
Kittens die when you masturbate
I have a teddy bear called - Panda ( he is a Panda bear )
I need a shower
Pointprovers suck, doers rule
I need sleep
I am broke
etc
8.52 am
So the news is that Timothy didn't come to the supermarket with me. He decided that it would be better to stay asleep in an uncomfortable chair. he did though impart crucial information as to the super's whereabouts plus bus instructions. Thanks Timbo!
My mission was beer and i was successful.
I took the Q3 bus through Jamaica to the corner of Merrick Blvd & Farmers Blvd. In the telling I imagined some kind of super that recalled John's or Ralph's, ( two popular breeds in LA ), as it turns out the "Western Beef" as it was known was a delapidated bright orange structure not used to the presence of strangers. The shelves were dusty, the workers suspicious. That said, they did have beer and some fruit plus sandwich supplies including that sandwich staple - bread and that Ross staple - sardines. I got some plastic 99c cheese and some tomatoes as well. Thanks Western Beef. The Q3 brought me back to terminal 4 and my Ashley creature. Couldn't get him any ciggies but he went out to pick up some poor rushed addicts old butts. Butt smokers united. Makes me wonder how the old Quigs is?
So that was my adventure to the outside world. Three beers and two sardine samdwiches later here I am. hi everyone.
I drink warm Coors light from a squat large diameter paper soup cup, Yum. I am serverly sleep deprived having had no sleep last night, 4 - 5 hours the night before and 2 the night before that. I must have mentioned the party that was thrown for me and Ash at the Student Inn on our last night?? Well if I didn't then I probably didn't say that the reason that I only got 2 hours sleep that night was that Ian our Bostonian room mate decided to fuck some Irish slut on the bunk on top of me. We was a rockin and a rollin. Then I got up. Sorry and pardon the pun but "Fuck That!". All that squelching was giving me the massive and very upsetting sickness. Yuk!
5.44 am
Timothy is going to show me how to get to the Supermarket and then I am going to buy beer and drink. I have been reading blogs again. If you read on then consisder your options as to the out comes of Sugarmosis
Read my now favorite Blogger - The Accidental New Yorker
I will have more tell when I have beer!
3.26 am
If only I could think, I would tell you something.
Hang on here's a little story for you. If it's a bit rough that's because I am making it up on the spot.
It's called Sugarmosis
As the late spring air gave way to summer the days were wetter and the sand became red. The blue tinge in the water disappeared replaced by the glow of phosphorescence. It lit the night and became the beacon by which dozens of traders plied their wares along the esplanade. Made with love, skill, practice and secrets.
A light breeze in the air whirled the canopies, scents mingled like drunken revellers. Summer nights were made for this.
Summer had a smell. Like rain on a hot road or fresh mown grass. Like sticky toffee as it sets. Summer tasted like the heavy saliva at the back of your throat. It held promise. Summer was flirtation.
All along the waters edge the vendor's calls sang out. Fresh and ready, cool and refreshing, hot and spicy, juicy and sweet, ice cold, luscious, tempting & savoury - a salad of bud tantalising confusion. Trill sounds, deep sounds a cacophony, a panoply. The choice made choice near as hectic as the clamour sprung about the lit water.
Her favourite though, was Sugarmosis, had been for as long as she could recall and would be as long as she had a hearts desire.
Warm air, carried the host and delivered it's olfactory missive; a breeze of new beginnings that were a daily ritual, each new evening bringing the need to fulfil it's own end. Indulge and tantalise and repeat. A recipe of culinary intrigue and a lingering knowledge that only one sun would yet again bring on the next.
She did love Sugarmosis. Nothing would stop or interfere with that.
She hurried. The hill was cobbled and sloped with urgency towards the water. Her dress was light, its skirts fanning as she descended. This was summer. This hill, this stretch owned her. It was the delivery. The way, the path. Once upon it she could not falter or wander from its mechanism. The shinning water beamed back with a new fathers pride. Summer was birth and rebirth and repeat. Seasons turned in on themselves and Sugarmosis was it's frenzied axis. It spun the globe, it's spherical orbit collecting the sweet floss that candies all existence.
And down she went. She would pay any price and had. Sugarmosis' obvious value was not something all would consider. But she never thought of others. And so she closed the gap between herself and that, which was hers. The clamour rose like a hero and pressed itself into her like a long missed lover. Sugarmosis called her name, as this after all was summer.
4.14 am
Yeh I am back
I have just been reading a fairly boring blog about some guy in London who is breaking up with whoever he was with. God knows some people have extremely lame existences. Do I give a fuck if you now have to pay the whole mortgage or not. No ! And another thing kids - don't get a mortgage til you grow up and know what a great deal of horrible shit it most usually will mean for life. That is just my opinion but then again this is all just my opinion.
Here is a little pic of me and Ash in our room at the good ol' Student Inn, Holloweird!
So I suppose you might like, at this point to see some of my photographic genius. Art.
More of our little humble hovel, a bit blurry but deal. I bring it - you deal with it. That's our relationship. Alright Fucko!
 23 was my fav. |
 Our room |
 Self Portrait |
 My Bed - not as many Bugs as some others |
June 03
Did I say that Ash and I were bailing from the Student Inn Hollywood? Probably. I mean I could just read the stuff I wrote yesterday to see but I can't be bothered. We are now at JFK airport New York. This is the first time I have found free internet at an International Airport. Whatd'ya know I just logged on and there are actually 5 wireless networks to choose from. yippy! So thanks Varig Lounge who ever you are. If you sell anything then I can't afford to buy it but yeh Varig you rock!
Anyway the net is going to be the sauce I spoon over the next 22 hours so that sitting here waiting for a plane to London doesn't taste so so so so bad. It wont be able to mask the taste completely but still....
Here I am if you care.
There is an annoying little girl bouncing the set of uncomfortable chairs that I am sitting on, Oh wait her mother and her are leaving. That's good See ya. We were in Terminal 7 which is where we arrived and where we have to leave from tomorrow but we got the word from our my man on the ground there that Terminal 4 was more the place for longtermers such as ourselves. And he was right. It's much more accommodating. Internet and all. In fact this set of chairs has carpet and power and Ash has taken up his sleeping position behind me. He is using Tam's grandmother's knitted rug. Thanks Tam. Oh and by the way - Hi to all the gang up there in Calgary!!!
You guys rock and Hans - don't go changing, I think you were the subject of a disturbing dream that I had last week. Anyway but that's another story. Jay the Cds and stuff came yesteday and me and Ash now have Stinkhammer shirts. Also I gave a Stink Cd to Rob as he was wondering what you guys sound like.
Speaking of Rob ( just briefly ) his mixes are the BOMB!
But now we return you to our regular screening of JFK airport and not much has changed sice I digressed into my Calgary moment. Oh there goes a guy with a trolley, haven't seen him before. Maybe I should invite him over for tea?
I did make some initial enquiries concerning the distance to the closest Supermarket or etc but then thought "fuck that - it's raining, I have no money and don't want to bother going out there". Just get me home. Not that I am going to be in Sydney very long. I am actually escaping within 24 hours and hitting the very secret squirel location of ..... Sorry I can't tell you that.
Wait something has happened. Ash has gone to the toilet! Wow. This excitement is amazing. If I can make it here I can make it anywhere or something. but we've got a great big convoy and I'VE GONE COMPLETELY MAD!
I will return after I read some other persons shit. Blog reading as I have said is my new no money entertainment!
June 02 ......later
Actually it's not later it's just that I had to go to the toilet. And that I couldn't deal with the itinerary thing.
I have been reading alot of blogs recently. QueerFilter.com is my current fav listing site. It's worth a look. Hey yeh I know that you might have found me through there. Uprooted is listed on QueerFilter so this is for Tourettes readers info.
There is some real cool stuff to read out there, my inner voyer is getting his rocks off.
I should have been writing more. Lots of stuff has been happening.
here's a few examples -
I have been twice to gospel church at First African Methodist Episcopal. I didn't go twice in a row preferring to take my church going less seriously than some I had a week off in between doses.
After the first time me and my friend Dale, who is my church connect, went to an artists space, it was hot and I bailed out early, walking around looking at art in the balzing sun was not for me. After my second visit to FAME ( I am probably not going to live forever ) me and Dale went to - The Kitchen on 43rd Place Inc. where we had Soul Food. Eating is good! I had Turkey Chops, Black Eyed Peas, Potatoes, Collard Greens & Cornbread all washed down by two servings of Iced Tea. This little restaurant was in South Central near Crenshaw. Dale said it was the cultural center of Black LA.It was cool.
Just to get back to the church thing for a bit. This last time I went I happened to be wearing my jeans that have a FUCK WAR patch on the front. This didn't go down too well with one of the main preaching dudes and he took it upon himself to rush down the center aisle in the middle of the service and whisper something to Dale to the effect that " maybe it wasn't appropriate Church wear" or something, which really made Dale mad. Anyway the main thing is that the drummer in the band there is really wicked and he took a drum solo while they collected the money. Naughty Ross!
Two nights ago we went to the Roxy on Sunset where we were on the doorlist but didn't get in anyway. Whatever. But while we were outside Lisa, who explained that she was the new guitarist from Hole introduced herself and was suprised to have Ashley exclaim immediately that "We hate Courney!". Nice one!
They threw a party for me and Ash last night here in the Hostel in LA. I haven't slept that much because the guy who is sleeping on the bunk above me decided that he was going to Fuck some blond chick from godknowswhere! This is the second time in a week this has happened. Did I say I need some privacy.
June 02
yeh it's been a while, not that long really but a lot has happened to me in the past few weeks. As I said just below it turns out that Corts friend Rob knew of us which was suprising as here in LA we are basically unknown. The sitch is this, a few years ago Ash wrote some songs for an Australian girl called Michelle Smith. She moved to LA with her boyfriend who is called Mark. Ash and Mark knew eachother years ago and etc, seems like this guy Rob also wrote songs for this girl and whilst they were doing that she had spoken very highly of Tourettes to him. etc
So when we emailed Rob he got back saying all this and that we should call him and so on. All that and etc, then we go round to his place - he loves the music and wants to get involved in mixing the record.
That was then and this is now, since then he has mixed half the tracks and is getting ready to help us put it out. There are a lot of messy industry details that I could fill in but suffice it to say we are now friends have slept on his couch a bit and he is driving us to the airport tomorrow so we can get the fuck outta the dodge!
Yes that's right me and Ash are returning to Australia. Thank fuck. To be honest I am completely over it. I mean I am over not having any, and in no particular order - privacy, money, outside interests, close friends, proper coffee, sex, car, yoga class, paying gigs, kitchen, kitchenware, closet, bed without bed buds - I am sure you get the picture.
Here it is - the last 10 months in at a glance
29 AUG 04 - DEPART - SYDNEY/SYDNEY KINGSFORD 1000
29 AUG 04 - ARRIVE - VANCOUVER/VANCOUVER AIR 1000
- AIRCRAFT -
- CLASS - ECONOMY
SUNDAY AIR CANADA FLIGHT AC 212 CONFIRMED
29 AUG 04 - DEPART - VANCOUVER/VANCOUVER AIR 1200
29 AUG 04 - ARRIVE - CALGARY/CALGARY INTL AR 1423
- AIRCRAFT -
- CLASS - ECONOMY
MONDAY AIR CANADA FLIGHT AC 570 CONFIRMED
28 FEB 05 - DEPART - CALGARY/CALGARY INTL AR 1220
28 FEB 05 - ARRIVE - LOS ANGELES/LOS ANGELES 1428
- AIRCRAFT -
- CLASS - ECONOMY
THURSDAY AIR CANADA FLIGHT AC 570 CONFIRMED
07 APR 05 - DEPART - CALGARY/CALGARY INTL AR 1200
07 APR 05 - ARRIVE - LOS ANGELES/LOS ANGELES 1409
- AIRCRAFT -
- CLASS - ECONOMY
FRIDAY UNITED AIRLINES INC FLIGHT UA 904 CONFIRMED
03 JUN 05 - DEPART - LOS ANGELES/LOS ANGELES 1120 NON-STOP
Terminal: TERMINAL 7
03 JUN 05 - ARRIVE - NEW YORK/JOHN F KENNEDY 1942 05HRS 22MINS
Terminal: TERMINAL 7
- AIRCRAFT - BOEING 757-200
- CLASS - ECONOMY
SATURDAY UNITED AIRLINES INC FLIGHT UA 956 CONFIRMED
04 JUN 05 - DEPART - NEW YORK/JOHN F KENNEDY 1850 NON-STOP
Terminal: TERMINAL 7
05 JUN 05 - ARRIVE - LONDON/HEATHROW,,GB 0655 07HRS 05MINS
Terminal: TERMINAL 3
- AIRCRAFT - BOEING 777
- CLASS - ECONOMY
SUNDAY THAI AIRWAYS INTL FLIGHT TG 911 CONFIRMED
05 JUN 05 - DEPART - LONDON/HEATHROW 1230 NON-STOP
Terminal: TERMINAL 3
06 JUN 05 - ARRIVE - BANGKOK/BANGKOK INTL AR 0605 11HRS 35MINS
Terminal: TERMINAL 1
- AIRCRAFT - BOEING 747 PASSENGER JET
- CLASS - ECONOMY
MONDAY THAI AIRWAYS INTL FLIGHT TG 993 CONFIRMED
06 JUN 05 - DEPART - BANGKOK/BANGKOK INTL AR 0810 NON-STOP
Terminal: TERMINAL 1
06 JUN 05 - ARRIVE - SYDNEY/SYDNEY KINGSFORD 2010 09HRS 00MINS
Terminal: TERMINAL 1
- AIRCRAFT - BOEING 747-400
- CLASS - ECONOMY
If you give enough of a fuck you might have noticed that today we are in LA and we wont be in Sydney til Monday June 6. That means that ( go on do the math ) OK I'll do it, roughly so as not to freak or depress myself too much we have 33 hours flight time and approx the same sitting in the various and no doubt wonderfully appointed airports of the world. You begin to question the sanity of saving around $700 each over the course of the year with this shitful ticket. Oh Blah fuck it
May 16
Monday. Got this email from Sandy's secretary.
Hey Ross,
Sandy wanted me to let you know that there's really nothing he can do for you guys.
Sincerely,
Karen
So thanks for nothing; in our meeting he had seemed enthusiastic, but had said that classic, "I'll call you" line that did make me nervous.
Ash and I went to Cyber Java demoralised etc. Sitting there we were contemplating leaving. Seeing as we have no money and all. But then Cort walked passed and stopped to say hi. He is a friend of Kyle's who lives at the Student Inn. Now, I have walked past and said hello to Cort everyday since meeting him about two weeks ago. He is one of those Hollywood wanders much like myself, wandering and wondering, I suppose. Anyway there Ash and I are desparate. A half finished record and at the end of our list of potentially interested parties and Cort walks by.
He knows that we are in a band but not much else. He starts by telling us about how the LA scene sucks and how it used to be etc etc etc. We start by telling him our situation and how we need someone to mix our record. Eventually he says, well I know this guy, a friend of a friend, you should look at his website. Seeing as we are at the Cyber Java we logged on and checked this guy. Turns out that he had heard of the band .....
May 15
Sunday
May 14
Working the front desk again. 7am - 3.30pm.
Basically me and Ash are hanging in LA to see what happens with one of our major contacts. His name is Sandy. Emailed him today to hurry him up. He already hasn't returned two phone calls so I don't really hold much hope, but we will see.
It's saturday and that's it.
May 13
Was hung over Friday the 13th. Didn't do much. Had to work the front desk again - 4pm til Midnight. Blah
May 12
Can't remember what I did today. I probably got drunk. It was thursday after all! Oh that's right. I did get drunk. Lex the bar guy from the Cat Club had invited me and Ash back this night. They have a band there called Star Fuckers. It's Dizzy the keyboard player who played piano on November Rain for Gunners has a cover band there that is kind of an alstar jam. They played ABBA SOS as guitar rock, assorted other classics in a similar style and the Gerry Cantrel from Alice in Chains got up and jammed, can't quite recall what it was but it was pretty jam-ish and Ash and I didn't last too much longer. Cort was there, but more about him later. We got another 6 pack for the walk home. It is quite a long way from the club section of Sunset back to Hollywood Blvd. Got a Hot dog on the way home.
May 11
After the show we drove back to the Hostel. I slept for a few hours, Quigs and Ash drank too many coffees and Michele dissappeared with ian to get a 2 hour massage. At about 5am we drove to the airport, gate 7 LAX to drop off Michele and Quigs so that they could make their way out of there. Me and Ash drove to Malibu on the 10 freeway to have a look and then down to Venice to get some breakfast, coffee and a bagel thing. We then drove back via Santa Monica to the Hertz place to drop of the car. By that stage it was 8am. we were both fucked and even though I had had a bit of a sleep I still felt like I had been up all night. The car cost US$94.13 and the gas cost US$20.00. We made nothing at the gig besides the CDs we sold. That's Rock n Roll though. After that it was the walk back to Hollywood for a sleep. Since Quigs has gone I am working his shifts on the front desk at the Hostel. That was this afternoon. Boring and all that. It was only 3.5 hours so it wasn't all bad.
May 10
Today is the day of our gig at the Cat Club on Sunset Blvd. It is the club that the guy from the Stray Cats used to own, I think it was Jim. Anyway it's that small one next to the Whiskey. I have to go and pick up the hire car from Hertz down on La Brea. It's about a 20 minute walk down past Santa Monica, Melrose, past Pinks famous hot dogs ( people line up there for a very long time to get a dog, haven't done that myself ), past the 99cent store, past Jet Rag ( very cool second hand clothes, haven't bought any, had a look though ). You get the picture. On sundays Jet Rag has a $1 sale. The guys a Hertz have to wear a shirt and tie. When I walked down there two days ago to make the booking I ran into Nick from one of the bands that we played with at Zen a few weeks ago, he said he might try to come down to the show tonight.
Later.....
Picked up the car. The mini van needed an oil change so we got a Chevy Trailblazer SUV with a sun roof. I picked up Michele. She has been living down Santa Monica past the 101 with some crew and a couple of dogs. Sin & 3 seem nice their place is small so I can see why Michele wanted to get out of there, she has been sleeping on the couch and floor.
She had packed up her life and was ready when I got there. We went back to the hostel in Hollywood and picked up the Ash and Micheal and headed for the show. damus came with us so that he could play roadie ( he didn't have any money to pay to come in, so he wanted to come in with us ). As usual we were a bit early, the band that we walked in on were a horrible folk dribble mishmash of female fronted whatever, then there was a noise band that the door man told me were a last minute fill in, they were better than the dribble folk. My opinion only! We were on next and by the time that happened there were actually quite a few people there to see us play, which was nice. The bar mans name was Lex, he also is the sound guy ( that may give you more of an idea of the size of the venue ). He was cool. We played using the clubs gear, Ash was happy because they had a Line 6 amp for guitar. I thought the bass amp looked good, it was an Ampeg 8 x 10 which was promising but the head was a piece of shit that didn't have enough power so I could hardly hear myself let alone anyone else. The drums were a big dimension rock kit with one rack tom and one floor. They kept creeping forward on Quigs and he wasn't that impressed. Anyway we played alright given the walk up start. Blah whatever. People seemed to dig it though. The bar guy came up and said that " I should have told him that we were good! " What can I say. We sold all the CDs we had so that was good. Met a few assorted Hollywood freaks including the guy who played Z in Pulp Fiction. He seemed cool.
It's been a real interesting time here in LA. It has held ups and downs but mainly it's just been plain old interesting.
just copped a few slings and arrows here if you care. It may amuse. From one pansy boy to another. It's our war motherfucker.
I could tell you of the owner of the Peking Chinese restaurant in Victorville, but I will leave that for Ash, he has a good take on it. Coming soon.
Or maybe you'd be interested to know about Buck Owens and the Bakersfield connection. Hi Beth! They were some of the nicest people I have met; from the older timers in Vinnie's bar when we first got there through the guys from Addiction Theory. Thanks guys. Thanks go out to Flatline from Santa Monica that were also great guys and came through on "amps n stuff".
This week has been Musexpo a nice little event that cost US$525.00 to attend, or you could just turn up on the footpath outside the key club on showcase night. Me and Michele took a walk down Sunset and it was all good, there was a lot of hob nobbing to be done and we made the most of who ever was out there. It was cool, I think we networked pretty well and some of the people met were really nice, which was good.
Thanks everyone for the support.
xx
ross
Well here in Hollywood its Monday April 25, 2005
We have a show tonight at a place in Silverlake called Zen. Silverlake is to Hollywood what Newtown or Annandale would be to Kings Cross ( Sydney ), sort of down the road about 15 minutes if you drive and about 2 hours by foot. We are some of the only people who walk that far in LA, it's all about the cars! Anyway this will be our second US show, our first was last Friday at Grover Beach half way up the coast towards San Fran'. It was all good and although initially it looked a bit small townish ( which it was ), the people were very cool and we sold every CD we had which was about 15 so that was cool. If we had of had our T shirts and stuff we could of off loaded a few of those as well, I am still shitty for not having them!!!! The other bands were good and Esoterik who lent us there amps and drums were real gentlemen so check out their music, it's worth it!!!!
Last week was good, the ups and downs of Hollywood with no money aside we had some good meetings and at present are hopeful of signing this motherfucker asap.
Looks like Tourettes will most likely be hitting Australia for a few shows in July or August so start getting excited. Besides that I will try to keep you informed as what we are doing. Below is some extracted stuff from an email conversation I had with a very intelligent and interesting guy called Patrick. He had some very interesting points to make - so read on if you have time........
Recently I visited a site called Queervisions
and had some interesting correspondence with the guy who runs it. His name is Patrick.......He wrote back to me after my first hello......
what do you mean exactly by 'non-mainstream' gay liberation agendas? that makes me very curious.
I used to think gay liberation equated with sexual liberation (and it does in many ways) but my understanding of what sexual liberation is was shallow and actually quite self-destructvie. I thought of sexual liberation as the freedom to have sex without consequences. I see the same mistakes being made by many queer people today exploring their sexual freedom without regard to moderation or consequences. I can understand the intense pleasure of sex (no doubt) but I can also speak to the consequences of elevating sex to a pasttime. Sex for many, needless to say, has simply become an addiction, gay or straight. This is not surprising given what happens physiologically leading up to and during orgasm.
I now see sexual liberation as the opening of society to sexual variance within the sea of humanity. As this variance has always existed, sexual liberation would be society's recognition of sexual diversity as natural and normal. This frees society, gay or straight, to speak openly about sexual matters. This allows those like us who are perhaps in a sexual minority to live more openly. And this means we are allowed to live a healthier life as well in that more of our energy will be put into creating/building/enhancing our lives instead of, as it is now, being put into defending/protecting/fighting for our right to exist equally under the law.
Oh by the way i'm from kentucky, just outside of the city of louisville. I grew up here. i went to college at a small liberal arts college called Oberlin up in ohio. i studied music - voice/piano. after graduating i lived in nyc from '97 - '03. i'm back in ky presently but plan on moving either back to nyc or out west, say, to san fran. not sure which way to go yet.
:) patrick ....................
my reply to Patrick
yeh wow!
excellent words - I think you got it right when you say -
" I now see sexual liberation as the opening of society to sexual
variance within the sea of humanity. As this variance has always
existed, sexual liberation would be society's recognition of sexual
diversity as natural and normal. This frees society, gay or straight,
to speak openly about sexual matters."
I also like
"And this means we are allowed to live a healthier life as well in that more of our
energy will be put into creating/building/enhancing our lives instead
of, as it is now, being put into defending/protecting/fighting for our
right to exist equally under the law."
Like everyone I am interested in creating/building/enhancing my life. However I am equally interested in creating/building/enhancing other peoples lives as well. It does seem that we have this in common!
I will attempt to define what I mean by 'non-mainstream' gay liberation agendas by firstly defining what I see as 'mainstream'.
And these are my reflections only, they are a little rough around the edges ......... these ideas are just that ideas, please read this as though we were having a conversation.... I could be very wrong..... you might like to point stuff out to me!!!
Your words "defending/protecting/fighting for our right to exist equally under the law." succinctly spotlight the case in point.
To defend, protect and fight for equality under the 'law'. The 'law' being 'mainstream' society's medium of control.
The shallowness of sexual liberation
It seems to me that these are 'mainstream agendas'.
When a minority group fractures and in splintered in to increasingly small and marginalized factions regrettably (maybe) there will be those whose role it is to overthrow, or try to overthrow, the keepers of the status quo.
On the ground that translate to a bunch of kids who have homosexual orientations but can't relate to the history of homosexuality, see
fighting for rights as a moot point as the system that begets such rights is devoid of sanity and run by hypocrites. Kids like this need safe places to hang, develop and be educated. They don't need overpowering campaigns that are perceived as attempts to influence; organised by those they see as selling out to the enemy. They need guidance and instruction on life that they feel they have acquired themselves. They have to acquire these skills themselves so that new sets of skills are avaliable to subsequent generations.
Are we always to live under structures that are rooted in history or shall we move forward?
Kids who feel marginalized within a minority structure will rebel against everything!
Queerruption is a great example of how any social group that invites membership from the dispossessed will be reduced to faction infighting and agenda rigging. I couldn't even hang near the queerruption meetings that I was around to see.
Leaders wanting control, voices not being heard, bitch afterward behind closed doors.
But at least they are trying something!!!!!!!
How can we reach agreement when the diversity of our group is not only it's major force but the crux of it's polar divergence?
So what if you have a disregard to social norms, morays, laws and existing definitions of who and what you are or should be?
You don't give a fuck about sexual liberation, you do what ever you want whenever you want, you've always been this way and nobody else is going to tell you what to do, you don't care about history and have an almost nihilistic approach to day to day life.
Is this 'non-mainstream'? I am positive it is. It is also however the domain of the extremist. ( or the wanna be extremist )
Of course, when offered the protective harbour of hard won law reform the extremist is in general happy to accept. The happy pragmatist.
Now a simple case of this is 'the radical punk queer". Fuck it all. Anything goes. Those that are defined by their need to be non definable.
(Except that they all dress the same. mohawks are sexy though!)
A more moderate example might be...
The lesbian who rally's against nomenclature. she is not a lesbian she is.................!
The gay guy who similarly is rankled by being asked if he is gay. He isn't gay he's a"radical faggot"
They steal electricity, occupy property owned by others, recycle food from the dumpsters at the back of supermarkets, live on what society throws away. And live well! There is no need for a new ................. piece of clothing, stereo, car, symbol of status or anything.
Simply put I think I mean being gay should not subject a person to be grouped under an umbrella that reduces individuals to stereotypes.
Yes many need this identity, but I believe there are a growing number who despise such a formulaic approach.
A catch cry I heard often in Europe was "Queers against Homocapitalism". I can't help but agree that their is an over emphasis on the supposedly affluent lifestyles of gays.
Remove the need for expensive group and sub-cultural tags and this will not only allow society to recognise sexual
diversity as natural and normal, freeing society, gay or straight, to speak openly about sexual matters but also allow it ( society ) to get over it altogether, move on and focus on real global issues that effect the survival of mankind as a whole.
Personally my agenda is this - people must be free to be themselves.
Through an often times violent & oppressive history we have been forced by the ignorance of fools and those with the God on their side into a position where what caused us to initially gather now breaks us apart. Our common sexual orientation. The more recent commercialistic cash in is a sickness. Yuk.
I feel its sad when a group is conscious of breaking down stereotypes yet seems to be quite happy to continually reinforce them for either a quick buck or a quick fuck. Yuk. Or a quick buzz.
what does this all mean to me?
Recycling, waste reduction, war, famine. I lament the wasted -
these are my 'non-mainstream' gay liberation agendas. Spiritual liberation.
Liberate ourselves to a level of consciousness where we are capable of becoming contributing members of society. Educating society so that we feel it is inhabitable. But then doesn't it all come down to education!
I don't want to be eye candy for the repressed as I dance down the street in my tight pink T shirt at Mardi Gras my tan competing with my white teeth. Let's develop self respect!
Let's get down and dirty,
My time would be better off spent digging a hole in the ground so that people who don't have fresh water could be assured of a drinking supply that wasn't going to kill there babies.
Hope that means something.
write back soon, I want to continue our conversation
............................
reply from Patrick
Thanks for writing back and not holding back. I found everything you
said interesting.
The idea of 'fighting for equality under the law' being considered mainstream and thus spoiled in some way I find irresponsible. Or even abandoning any effort to challenge the law because one thinks it mainstream I find irresponsible. Not you but the idea. Real people suffer when regimes are allowed to go on unchallenged. Yes I agree we live in a bizarre hypocritical time in which many evil people are in power. But this is as it often has been. Our time is little different in that respect. But the lives of queer people improved or at least our ability to live openly. And abandoning the efforts which have thus far effected real change by denying the changes that have in fact taken place is bizarre to me.
The bottom line is that one is free to do or not to do as one wishes. However, we can help future generations of gay children by fighting for equality under the law now. There are gay foster children (orphans) suffering now because the law doesn't allow them to seek gay parents or gay friendly parents. Often adoption or foster care agencies (at least here in some parts of the U.S.) allow these gay children to be put into therapies which seek to change their sexual orientation. For these children alone, I continue to fight and seek change through the law. I will not abandon them for I believe we queer people can effect change (and again have) by making our voices heard.
Furthermore, I exist. No law will change that. I don't have to justify my existence as an openly gay person. However, because gay children are vulnerable to hateful propoganda which can harm them, I fight for their right to exist free of torment and brainwashing ideologies which ultimately seek to deny them. I fight for my and their right to exist equally under the law (no matter how imperfect).
How are you? I'm doing pretty well. I just turned 34. I'm currently sitting in a gay cafe in downtown Louisville. Never been here before. Free internet access. That's good. The music is loud though so my thoughts above were a bit distracted. I hope I made some sense. Well take care.
Patrick
....................
Anyway if you got this far, congratulations.
ross
Los Angeles sometime in April 2005
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Los Angeles Wednesday April 14 2005
Let me back track a little
The panic had really set in.
2pm Wednesday 6 April. I arrive at Night Deposit. The night before me and Quigs had packed all our gear in boxes and prepared it for shipping to LA. Now it seemed that that wasn't the case. Certainly it had seemed the best idea at the time. But now it wasn't the go at all.
Best laid plans and all.
Anyway, to cut a long story short the broker we had decided upon for our shipping need had run into several problems, the main one being George W Bush. What with 911 and all seems like "importing" (as it is known) anything into the USA is now a FUCKING NIGHTMARE. Not only did GW want to know where our promo shirts were manufactured but he also wanted to know the source of the textile itself. Blah.
He wasn't only interested in why we wanted to ship electronic components but his interest lay also upon the 30 - 40% tariff that would be imposed upon the value of each and every piece. Nice. Thanks. Yeh. And maybe we won't bother.
I mean all of this was brought on by a scared and little man inside me that had heard all the "Cameron Undy" stories about being turned back at LAX instruments in hand etc. You can Google that if you give a fuck. I haven't got time to go into it right now. I am busy at the US$18.00 a night cheap as Student Inn, Hollywood Blvd experience. Sorry for the inconclusivity.
I didn't even get a chance to say that I was rudely interrupted and adios etc. But that was last night and now it is today. The thing is here in LA it's summer as usual which is nice. I have just been for a walk to Los Feliz, which isn't far. I am really not sure what I was looking for but I had heard that it was a bit cool. Maybe I missed the cool bit. Must have!
I exchanged CAD$120.00 and ended up with the princely sum of US$80.00, which I suppose wasn't so bad all things considered. It reminded me of the time recently in Barcelona where I exchanged AUD$100.00 and only received 44 Euros. That was suckful.
I am presently drinking one of those 24 ounce cans of Bud that seem huge to begin with and then you wish you had another. But that won't be the case today, as I am not going down there again.
I miss my friends.
Friends aren't the kind of things that you can go hunting for. Friends just pop up out of nowhere when you are least expecting, friends just seem to come along.
Bummer. Mainly it seems that real friends are few and far between and if you make more than 1 or 2 a year then your quota is filled. That sucks.
Di and Nat will be here in a month, which is great. They are my friends. You should check out Di's website Diana Anaid. It will good to see those guys. We were hoping that they would be here now but they are still in Australia. They are often here though.
Where was I? Oh yeh I actually wish that I was in Sydney. I'd only like to be there for about a week, just a little visit to see some friends. That's all.
It's that waiting game. Hurry up let's finish this part so we can move to the next one and wait. Aghhhhh.
Sorry, really it's all good. I wanna rock though.
Me and Ash have a new office. Cyber java cafe the corner of La Brea and Hollywood where you can sit all day for the price of a coffee and hook into their free wireless internet. This is great as it allows us access to all the things that an up and coming rock band needs. Email, downloads â the works.
Don't know if I already said but I was stealing internet from somewhere near the balcony at said downscale accomm. That was kinda OK but it was in the smoker's galley and I was contracting lung cancer. The Cyber Java experience is much better as it is for one in the shade and for two it's a wide pipe of doom speed cyber interaction. I am such a geek. Right now I am downloading our masters from a studio in London. Pretty cool aye! And fuck they sound massive!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 29, 2005
Well after some slight amount of harassment from the Sikfuks I have got my shit together and started writing again. We have been staying as I mentioned before at camp Stinkhammer. During this time my 34th birthday came and went. Here are the photos that you all want.
 me & quigs |
 me & mattstink |
 Tam & Hans |
 me a bit fucked |
 Ash has some moves |
 Ash's party 'job |
 Ash reciprocates |
 Ash, Jay & Tam. I am a bit tired after my naked snow thing. I needed my blanket and pyjamas. |
Some called it my Queer birthday or something - Faggots!!!
Don't give me that shit you closeted homos. Either suck dick or fuck off in my view. I mean what the fuck. Pretty boy.
Anyway there's a whole nother rant.
Not that I enjoy sucking dick, I mean I don't mind having mine sucked but it's the rare occasion that I'll be there enough to go down. I'd rather cuddle up to someone I love than get too involved with secretions and the like.
Why the fuck am I telling you this?
Oh that's it I am that token guy that doesn't give a fuck, remember me? Maybe you don't give a fuck and if you do then I suggest not reading any further. Adios.
But if you don't - therefore hello! why not continue.
Back to camp Stinkhammer. It has been quite amazing to stay with a band that is on the up and up. So much to learn and as I have had very little to do it's been a bit of a case of the this is how to do this or that show and tell routine. Which I might add that I have enjoyed, as it is swell to think that all the little skills I have tucked away may in fact be useful knowledge to somebody or some other bodies if you know what I mean.
Michele is in LA, which I am sure you are all well aware. I will leave that stuff for you to blah blah blah on the forums etc.
The studio and our Canadian days are very numbered at present and that fuckin' rocks my world> I am really keen to get moving. It's all well and good to make great art but in a group dynamic it is important to keep moving and progressing too. So let's get on the road!!!!
That said I think there is a hell of a lot of mileage to be extracted from this current recording and I believe that we will most like not be finished with its enormity for approx 3 years. Broken down that is 1 year to get the thing noticed and 2 years after that to tour the fuckin' living daylights outta the fucker. Etc etc.
You may have gathered by my tone that I am slightly in need of getting the fuck out of Calgary. Please!!!!!!
LA I am sure will be a head-trip too and that is good I want a big city I want to see the bright lights. Unfortunately 17th just isn't cutting it for me at present.
Blick Yuk Whatever.
Cya later
Fuckin' rite me if you want more of this shit. There's after all tonnes backing up.
16.03.2005
hey there, only a few days to my birthday so I have been threatened with many a celebratory drinks et al. And so it goes on that we are still here in Calgary. Can you believe it. I certainly can, being at the coalface of a burgeoning rock phenomenon. Blah
Michele has palm trees and we have more snow. She will argue that she stayed out the full winter frostbite session that was Christmas here in the tundra.
The Overlook's overlooked few. A maze of icey murder and mayhem only known to few and only on a need to know basis.
We are staying with the boys from a Calgary band called Stinkhammer. I believe you should check this out. They are the top shelf of hosts.
As far as the recording is concerned, we are still working on it. In between bouts of financial disaster wrapped in a veneer of shredded wheatmeal cookies and inside out arseholes only topped by their impressions of humanity, we find ourselves in a holding pattern that is twisting the most twisted twistoids. See what I mean!
Self explanitory really.
Retardation
Daddy oh says 2007. Can't wait.
see yas
pull it together sikfuks
I was going to do a tell all about Spain but i figure that you probably don't give a fuck. You probably aren't even there. for all I know.
You can have this then -
So I haven't written for a while. It has been a little difficult readjusting to the Canadian scene after getting back from Spain. Since I have been back now for a month I should have something to say.
Michele was still here when I got back and she was pissed off and raring to get the fuck out of here. She flew to LA on Monday 14th February. Since then it has just been Ashley and I and it has been OK. Quiet and I have managed to get a bit of work done on the tourettes website which has been good. I feel a little dislocated though. That is in large part to do with the fact that today we moved out of the house that we had been in since November 1 last year. Sue the owner has just sold it and the new people were supposed to move in today. We left this morning but it has been a gradual manoeuvre. I stayed up late last night cleaning which was inevitable I suppose. Now we are officially homeless and looking towards the charity of a few friends that we have made since being here. The mix process has begun and it looks as though Ash will sleep at the studio as they seem to work til 2 3 or 4 am so there is no point trekking across town just to sleep for a few hours and return.
I am going to go and stay with the boys but that means doing that trek myself. At least the weather has begun to clear up. It has been sunny for the last 10 days, which will make a big difference when I am walking for 1 hour each way. Thems the breaks I suppose.
Max has been in Australia for the last month and has been a complete trash bag by the sounds of it.
Quiggs is there too but he has been keeping a low profile and working so that he can come back and then to LA with the finished record. The record by the way sounds immense. Fucking Huge!
So we will take the world by storm after all.
So fuck me dead.
Our squat in Barcelona
Trashed on New Years
Spain.
I have been in Spain for 10 days. I got a bit sick for the second and third days and today I also feel a bit blah, like flu or something. We are in this huge old orphanage in Mongat Nord. This about 15 mins out of Barcelona on the train, about 6 stops. Nothing really and it is really easy to ride for free. In Spain it seems that you can get away with a lot. This is good for the squatting crew!
Max is good and is very popular here. He loves it. Barcelona is great so I am not surprised that he loves it here so much. There are many squats and many different nationalities sharing the spaces. Tonight we are going just two stops on the train away to Badalona which has a great Punk squat full of Irish punks.
Badalona is a really yuppie haven full of rich people on the beach. Not actually on the beach right now as it is a bit cold but it is a beach suburb that is very affluent. The shops there are expensive and we stand out like sore thumbs as most people are dressed in that expensive euro way. The shops there seem pricey, but the super is OK.
We went to a demonstration in the streets of Barcelona last night and left just before the seemingly obligatory riot at the end, which was good timing. Max loved it but I was tired. He went off to TDN which is a big warehouse squat which does a big vegan soup kitchen thing every Thursday. I went home to bed and slept very well. I had a night mare about David S Martin though which was fucked. I wonder what is happening there in Canada. Actually I haven't really given it too much thought which is good as I am here. Max is good his birthday was huge and we partied all night, which was great but very tiring. He wants to be a Euro Trash DJ and has heaps of MP3s that he will take to Australia and DJ. He loves his music, which I think is great. He says that he hasn't had a hobby before so his interest in this new music is a great thing for him. Tomorrow is Christmas. I must call my parents in Sydney as I haven't spoken to them since before I left Canada.
The trip here was long. All in all about 2 days of travel. I spent a few hours in London which was exhausting.
We will be going there for about a week at the end of January as Max wants to be in Sydney 1 Feb for a week of queeruption. I will stay with iris or maybe with Elly, Max's friend in Brixton, in London for a few days as my flight is 3 Feb. Then back to Calgary. Mongat is quite amazing. The lifestyle here could not be more different to the 3 months that I have just spent in Calgary.
The house is huge here and abandoned. The squatters have been here 3 months give or take and many things are still to be done. There is no running water, but as the beach is right there the outside showers provide the water to wash etc. We must take a cart like an old ladies shopping cart with water bottles and a long pipe with a cut off water bottle as a funnel and fill big water containers from the beach showers. The people here live off what they can recycle, fruit and veg mainly from skipping (dumpster diving ) etc.
I am the same way here as I have hardly any money. I must conserve what I have for LA in March as that will be expensive and I really only have about $500.00 AUD shit!!!!!.
Yeh I feel a little sick today, headache etc.
I am glad Max has his computer he seems to spend a lot of time there with his music collection.
I have bought a Spanish English dictionary and have been trying to learn a little Spanish. A little!
Hey its about 29 December 2004 but I am not too sure. Time in Spain doesn't matter. At least not for me. Money doesn't matter either. It's all about the day to day. Clean the kitchen cook, sit in the sun, talk, learn a bit of Spanish. Not much really. Pass the time. I can't even be bothered writing this shit here.
What a difference a few days make. It is now Jan 5 and today was hectic. New years was fucking massive. Remaining strung out and realising my age. Max is upset, naturally he went super hard on NYE and is now emo. He wants to go to Australia asap, wonders why?????? No one knows anyway. There are no answers.
Did I say what a difference a day makes?
Well after a psychotic morning where I studied Spanish to deal with it all. I ended up going to Badalona with Elmy to work on an old truck she has bought off a heroin junkie there so that the junkie girl ( Christina ) can get the fuck outta there âcause it's a sin> It's a sin , it's a sin, it's a sin. Yeh the hammer. Well whatever it's none of my business I just take off bits of greasy old trucks to kill time and for fun. It was fun actually, I really like Elmy she is 30 and has a developing violent and abusive relationship with her beau. There is a long history of drugs for him. When he is on them all is cool, he loves her. When he isn't on them they fight as she knows only too well that the bullshit love inferences of the night before were just drug fuelled blah. So she too wonders. I wonder also. I remember telling Michele last month that I expected Spain and the Max to be to the max and therefore be probably more stressful for me than Canada had been/was being. That is very much true.
I love Max.
Last night I lay in bed awake wondering what life would be like with out him. I was worried, until I had a dream about Sydney where I was with Max and big Gay Dave and I felt so good about it that I instinctively in half sleep grabbed hold of him, Max and cuddled.
Tonight, just then after I got back from the truck thing, actually Max had been with three other friends and gotten dressed up to go to the airport to meet another friend of theirs that had flown in from the UK. Anyway when I got home they had also just gotten in and were cooking soup, Max said instantly that he was sorry for being psychotic and I said, don't worry about it babe.
So there you go.
My Spanish isn't so bad either which is nice. I still do have a brain. Sometimes I wonder on that.
Sex , sex would be nice.
Yes I had sex.
Well this is hardly my Canadian Journal anymore. It is now very much a Spanish Journal and I think right now that I have a hell of a lot to say.
Shit here has been chaotic to say the least. I have made no attempt to cover the issues that have been presented to me up until this point for many and more reasons. So all I can do is try now, from now to go back and try to tell all.
Today is Wednesday 12th January 2005 and there is 12 days to go until we leave Barcelona. I have missed writing and until just now have been without any solitude that could provide me with 240 volts, actually the mains pump out 220 volts in Europe and I do think that the power in Max's room back at Mongat Nord is quite fuck. Stuff happens to my computer every time I plug in there. And from a few days ago I have begun to feel an increasing discomfort there. The people and their politics spook me and the indecision that is manifest within from a queer outlook and the lack of forefathers plus a loathing of all other structures and their forefathers and even any language that would envisage only forefathers and not foremothers is only redoubled by the many languages spoken in this Queer Paliciio!!!!!
So I am in a bar which will either be on the coast or underwater when the new Badalona Harbour becomes a reality somewhere in 2005. Badalona 10 mins from Barcelona. Three Asians just walked in which is a bit strange but besides them I am the only other patron. I walked in here just after helping Elmy with her truck again. But my heart wasn't in it and I bailed after carrying the doors to load in her van. So I am once again the subject of others stares. Not only the Asians, and actually it's not so strange that Asians are here as I am actually in a kind of warehouse district on the coast that seems from a quick solo mission to have quite a lot of Asian run clothing warehouse store etc.
Here are just a couple of pics from the studio in Calgary.
Wow it has been a while and now it's 5.45am on the morning that I leave for Spain. I am going to Barcelona to spend 6 weeks with Max. I have not seen him in 10 months and can't wait! I have also realised that nearly all the close/style/accessories that I am wearing are from him. Kilt, Singlet, undies we used to share, he got the twin that has tourettes printed on the bum, queer mutiny hoody that he sent me in the mail, and two cuffs and I stole his leg warmer idea âcuse my shins got cold. So Maybe I am defining myself through him? Maybe style wise I have learnt a bit about what is inappropriate where, so that's good. Always good for the first appraisal, especially while travelling internationally. I find!
So I finished all my bass tracks. The tone is amazing, the playing the best I could have done, which is good. I put in a lot of practice so it wasn't so bad. I feel content to go away for a few weeks although I know that Michele is a bit wondering how lonely she can get now that I am not going to be I Calgary, although I think she'll be fine with Ash either that or she'll strangle him. One or the other!
So Quigs was in Sydney the day before yesterday and I suppose he's happy to be there I mean it is snowing and â10 c here so Sydney is probably a welcome change, not to mention the hectic interplay that has unravelled here in the past month. Slings and arrows my old man called them and he was right. Vicissitudes I said and was also correct. Yeh yeh , no exactly, Ash was heard to mumble, Quigs ranted Cunt whilst Michele ruminated wildly upon the effortlessness of her foes last haggard moments. Did I say fragile beauty; I think I did once in passing to Michele, she seemed to concur. And as passed through the studio kitchen I smelt Ashley's farts and blanched. Such has been my time.
Oh God I've gone all Episcopalian on your asre??? What I hear you moan. Not bacon. Dead red Michele would say and on this we agree.
I just got 2 hours fitful sleep and I am now sitting at the Calgary airport, uploading some stuff to our Press Kit site, it worked and then it didn't kind of thing. So thank god for hot spots, even at CAD$8.56 an hour. Well you know me - thorough!
This is a long one so I hope you can get through it! It does tell all, so hang in there.
What?
You heard me. All of this petulant self-provocation in the name of art. And I am by no means the worst. But it is not my intention to judge or be judged. I just want to find an area of significance that seems not to exist in the mournful self-depreciation of the wanna be!
That was this morning and this in now. Tonight 11.35pm, Tuesday.
I don't know whether I have mentioned it before but I have been struggling for the last few months with these down stroke lines that Ash has written into many of the new songs that we will be recording. It has been quite an effort to get to the point that I am at now where I can actually play them properly. I have spent many hours on these little blitters and it is only in the last few days that I have seen any consistency in how I manage to do it. I have had these times when I can then suddenly I can't do it again then I can Then I can't etc etc, Now however I can actually do them every time which is nice and I feel that what my mother said when I was practicing the piano at early age must actually be true.
"Practice makes perfect!"
Than visa, plane tickets cash and all the rest of the crap.
An open letter
I just wanted to write to you. It's 4.31 am.
There is a constant battle of wills that unceasingly holds my tension level higher than is right. Who is to blame for this injustice or that promise not kept. Money is owed, who will pay?. Why did he or she say that or this and then not back that up with action. What will happen next year? People lie and deceive each other so that their affairs are kept secret. Their business is their business and in many circumstances should be kept to themselves. If people choose to align themselves with others then it is their choice. A decision that either should be stuck to or one that provokes another decision to make yet further arrangements that will form the endings of such endeavors. Why do other people feel the need to burn associates at the stake for what in fact are their own emotional foibles.
These questions berate my skull.
These nagging bitches that seek to destroy my peace. My self-satisfaction. My joy.
But I will not let them foil me. I will stand and believe in truth, in my ability to understand what is right from what is wrong. Smelling out liars and fools and still giving them their due, if indeed it is due and if it is not, forthrightly curtailing their bullshit and ending unseemly negativity quickly without resorting to backstabbing fuel throwing. The fires of doubt need no more kindling as already those wanker's own neurosis ignites frenzies of stampeding shit slinging.
12.25 pm Sunday 18 or 19 November
OK. So we come to this country after having met somebody who shall remain nameless on the Internet. He says we are going to do plenty of gig; gigs turn out to be harder to procure than first thought. He says we are going into the studio and I am going to be the executive producer on the work, money seems harder to procure than first thought. He has an agreement with the studio owner and said amount of money was supposed to have been forthcoming last week. It still hasn't appeared this Friday just gone, so unfortunately for all involved especially us, the studio owner feels compelled to shake up the Internet dude by not allowing the continuation of the project until said monies have been forwarded his way. Pay up dude!!!
Then so it's Friday and I have been avoiding the studio all day only to find that when I do arrive at around 5 pm that nothing is happening and that nothing has happened all day.
Bummer! Down tools. As they say in the unions.
This of course led to the inevitable and circular conversations as to blame, as truth, as to lies, as to intentions, as to positions, fallback plans, compensation, delivery on promises etc. Bills bills bills, paying bills, how paying bills is painful, how wouldn't it be good if we didn't have to pay bills or how it would be if there was plenty of money so that paying bills wasn't so painful and so forth. I am sure you are getting the picture.
So then it's a bit later on Friday night and me and Ash decide to go get a drink.
Of course our haunt of choice is the ever close and low-fi Juliet's Castle, Family Restaurant, steak house and bar. Open late and situated in a strip mall just blocks from our vicinity. It was the first bar that I went to in Calgary. Stuck unceremoniously on 16Ave NE, which is in fact the highway 1 of Canada; Calgary apparently being the only town centre in the whole of Canada in which the "Trans- Canada" as it is known still passes through. Four lanes of air braking semis. You know the drill.
Did I mention that I am hung the fuck over! Wooh my body is reeling. I feel like my skin is rippling, in fact I am shaking. Scary!
Back to my story.
That's right I was about to go the Juliet's on your ass.
The windows of Juliet's have the kind of quickly painted advertising, normally the reserve of butcher stores, promising steak sandwiches for $5.95 and promoting their 20-cent wing nights. (Wings are a very popular snack of choice here when indulging in ones favourite alcoholic beverage - I like mine plain with med hot sauce on the side ).
One enters this fine drinking hole through plain plate steel doors that have obviously been added by the owners when the previous ones were either ram raided or smashed by rampaging patrons, my guess anyway. They remind me of the doors my dad put on the Scout Hall that figured in my early teen years back home - that is yet another story.
So we are inside. Steel doors have been breached and the inviting glass brick wall foyer is quickly negotiated, manoeuvred through, the thug of this kind of amusement centre greets each punter upon entry. I head as a matter of course towards the free pool table. This table is the worse one in the place, positioned, as it is next to entrance to the toilets it makes for a natural bottleneck where it is easy to scrutinise all patrons needing to relieve themselves throughout the course of the evening. It also offers free pool as the side that normally has the little glass window where you can inspect the balls, ( not you too ) looks like it has been ripped off by an axe wielding pool enthusiast. The cue ball is a big 6 with a drawn on smiley face.
I have tried, this night upon initial entry to take the cue ball from the next table but, Bobby the bar manager came and negotiated it's release in a trade where it was suggested that she didn't do this for just everybody, normally she would have taken the cue ball and then we'd have been left with nothing, but in our case she'd make an exception. Ok. We don't need a cue ball as the whole side is open, other patrons need a cue ball as otherwise they won't be able to retrieve the smiling big 6.
So we are playing pool Ash is beating me soundly. The serving girls are happy to see me as last week I did an entertaining version of New York New York. " Are you going to sing tonight?" one of them asks. "Oh, maybe later", I said " Michele is coming down, when she gets here, we'll see."
Let's briefly check out who works at Juliet's.
Todd, one of the cooks is a bit of an alcoholic, not that I can talk. Nice guy who lives about half an hour away and is often drinking late after his shift. Kitchen closes at 1 am, last drinks are 1.30am. I am often there quite late, so I know these things.
So now we have drunk two jugs of beer and we are stoned too. What'd you know Michele has just been down to the studio and Endre( studio owner, engineer, all round guy ) has told her me and Ash are at Juliet's and dropped her off on his way home. So hi Michele.
Now I must digress slightly to give you some background.
Now by the time this happens I have already done a duet with Michele of the famous Grease tune " Hopelessly Devoted to You". Which by the way I have no idea about and therefore destroy. Michele tries to hold it together for both of us as I sink into screaming frenzy. Ash and I have polished off another two jugs, so as you can see things are a little blurry already.
The French Maid, nice space, scantily clad girls tempting us to drink more etc, naked girls on stage etc. I am sure you know the scene. I'm quickly bored and leave Ash to it. My adventure starts here as I make my way to the BackLot, the quietest of Gay bars in Calgary. It is a true bar rather than a nightclub so you can actually talk to people, that is if you aren't already too pissed, which I am.
I am not sure whether my arrival has disturbed anything but Cheese looks relieved and in fact makes her way to the bar where she knows people and leaves me and Ash to get the hell out of the dodge.
Time for sleep.
Hello this is right now. I am writing this it's 2.02 pm Sunday I am hung the fuck over as previously said, shaking, twitching etc
So back to last night I am not feeling like going to a party but there is one to go to.
Michele has been fraternising with one of the locals. The birthday boy Dylan was 24 yesterday. He a bit of all right so I can see why Michele is there. 'Nough said right.
ANYWAY IT'S DYLAN'S BIRTHDAY
Somehow after my first beer I get involved with driving Kerry, Ryan's girlfriend to the bottle shop to get more Jack Daniels.
Yes so we are back at the party and my driving duty is done.Therefore I can drink. I find Ashley has embraced the when in Calgary vibe and is happily imbibing beer.
Dylan's little sister is this jumping bean of 18-year-old energy. She is one of those pot chicks who at this young age are still trying to irreparably damage her lung tissue.
She is also undertaking some cooking, all is good. More beer arrives with a long lost friend called Kip. The party is thinning but of course we are still there. Dylan ends up spewing and then is put to bed. That pretty much cues us to leave and Michele, Ash and I are out of there via 7 Eleven for chocolate which I am very happy about I even wash mine down with a small plain milk Yum.
We get home; talk for a bit, Ash disappears. Me and Michele chat, and then go our separate ways. Moments later Ash rushes to the bathroom to spew. Nice one Ash.
Monday Night November 22, 2004
Well well well what'd know Monday was a near failure.
We have been sitting here and now it's 11.56pm. Equilibrium recovered, thankfully. All avenues of investigation covered. The debrief.
Blah Blah Blah
And do I care?
Today is Wednesday the 13th of October 2004. Ashley has just relieved me of my bass so that he can put down some demo bass tracks over at the studio. This of course means that I am at a loose end, which means here I am writing this shit again. It has been a while since I last sat down to write but really, little of interest has happened.
I was writing to you some days ago now but somehow I got side tracked and now the exact time is Saturday 16th October at 2.40pm and I am in a coffee shop with Michele. I have just dropped Ash and his gear back at the studio, gotten rid of the car and then come down here. I say " back at the studio" and it works something like this. Last night we had a gig at the Black Swan, ( which according to a woman named Susan, who made Michele a broken love heart glass jewelled necklace for her birthday, ) is situated in a rich area populated by rich kids, who are going to Uni on their parents money and that's why we sold a lot of merch, which I never would have thought was going to happen and in fact had actually given up straight away after the show and just dumped the box in a corner thinking we probably won't sell anything so who cares what ever or whatever. So fuck it, I said and went to get a beer but then right on cue as always the stream of punters came a calling, their congratulatory tones rivalling even my own self congratulations ( see Michele's thoughts ). Ramble Ramble.
So there we were at the Black Swan in the many times coveted but mostly reviled middle position on the bill, between Night Church, whose cover renditions of everything from Megadeath to godknowswhat were lost on yours truly and Passardo with their dolset angst imbued Korn sanctimony. So there you go, the middle position on a three band bill of this calibre is needless to say a suck hole of doom where there is no time to sound check, rush on, then get axed 3 songs short plus the PA blowing up halfway through Allergic which we were trying to open with. So fuck, can you see why I thought we weren't going to sell any Merch?
But then we did. And it was good!
And then the rear passenger side window on Dave's car got smashed by a drunk guy who got kicked out by the bouncer. Sending Dave into a spiral that included me driving his car home, Quigs driving the truck, even though he had been plied with the inevitable " Shooters" and joints. Quig's made it thank God. Dave pissed off somewhere in a car to do " something" with the " time" that he " needed" . So his wife was pissed off! Anyway Quigs said that he was informed by Sandra ( Dave's wife ) that Dave had returned at around 7.30am when she came to get the keys to the truck that the next door neighbour lends us every time we have a gig. Go Brian Go!
Brian is a robust character of decent proportions, his sweet cigar scented self is a jolly kerbside car dealer who reminds me of a more business orientated Ken ( my dad ). The similarities are those blessed upon the many middle-aged men worldwide who love to tinker with cars, fixing them, in a balancing act of cash flow and family. Cool. The thing about Brian is that at anyone time he has at least ten cars parked on the street and he also seems incredibly able to move these vehicles to punters. They are cheap and cheerful, rusted and gloriously reborn from there often times previous owners who have been encouraged into parting ways with their rides by the Alberta Police force. Brian gets a lot of these cars from the Police auctions.
Where was I?
Reality check, still at coffee shop
Next there are the guys from this other band Stink Hammer. Now, they are nice too, one is Honest Matt the missionary child who has lived all over the world including 6 years in Pakistan. " Man we don't want to be your fans, we want to be your friends!"
" OK"
Stink Hammer also has a main guy called Jay. Enthusiastic, amazed, congratulatory etc.
The party crew and the Stink Hammer crew don't know each other, but I invited Stink Hammer to the party so I feel like a kind of platonic social cupid.
( quick editorial note Nov 15. I never got around to playing cupid between these two groups, however I did get very drunk on there first groups beer )
Oh that reminds me of the car park at the end of the gig at the Black Swan.
This guy called Greg came up to me to say hi; tall, prepish by his own admission, quietly confident, looking at me with those " I am gay eyes and I know about you there in your Kilt,"
Anyway I thought it was amusing that he had been too timid to speak to me earlier yet here he was eye rooting me in the car park at 2 am. It's amazing what alcohol can do for the confidence of the average punter.
Blah 100,000 joints later. Calgary is packed to the eyeballs with pot. Never seen more and that's saying something! I have been surrounded by pot for years and I have never come across more than in Canada. It does become a bit boring, everybody wanting to smoke a joint with you, and also they don't mix their pot with any tobacco, which kind of doesn't satisfy my nicotine addiction. So.
We have been giving due consideration to our Production Agreement with David & Endre, this has meant that I have been liaising with our lawyer, the very polite and seemingly ( hopefully ) smart & thorough Andy Edwards at Brett Oaten and Associates in Erskineville Sydney. We are in a great position to make an absolutely killer album and not get ripped off. We are getting a very realistic price, working in a most professional studio environment with professional personnel.
Same day. Snowing now, ice too. Frozen.
Still on the RV Couch
It is a balancing act. Life.
What I really mean to say here is that life is a series of personality management challenges. Offers, the perhaps of maybe involvements, that kind of thing and the like. Like what if this or that or maybe next year this could happen an offer and then 'No not that'. This.
Boldly but belatedly berating beaten brethren by being beholden but between bleating blank babble. Buying bargain but burst bubbles busted boisterously by be -knighted baleful balcony balancing benificeries.
In short today is 1 November 2004.
We moved out of the RV today and into a house. The house is owned by Sue an eccentric 60 ish hippy chick who forgot to stop smoking pot. She has travelled the world, owns several houses and has very kindly let us stay in one, of course as long as we supply her with money.
We are in the studio full time now and pre production is going well, I believe we have a killer album on our hands. This week is serious rehearsing in the acoustic chamber, which is amazing.
Happy Days.
The house we are in is in the same street as the studio, actually it is great to have a table to sit at and proper heating, and I don't have to share a bed with Ash anymore, which was getting a little boring. Michele is happy and has already spent time decorating her bedroom. Michael is happy he gets a room. Ash has a room and I sleep in the lounge room, I don't care. I have been practicing heaps and heaps and we have honed the song possibilities down to 13 or 14, which is good so there aren't so many to have to know.
And so enough introductory crap.
Today is 14 November 2004. I have been to the gym and it is 1.50pm. The house was quiet when I got home but now people are starting to stir. Sue has been around with a coffee pot, freshly brewed, and is worried about the joint and the packet of smokes that she may have dropped outside last night while she was sweeping leaves. Did I happen to mention that Sue is a little eccentric? The other night it was pouring rain and at about midnight Sue was outside in the subzero temperatures raking leaves. She likes to rake I suppose!
Practice has been going well for me as the house has been rather quiet during the day, as Michael has been putting down drum tracks all this past week.
Ash has been with him so that has left the house to me and Michele, which basically means me as Michele is bed ridden most of the day. The nocturnal type. Don't let me be the judge.
So what else have I done for 13 days. I really don't have much to say except that even though I started writing this sentence yesterday it is now today, the next day. The morning of the 15th November. And thanks. Peace be.
The Greek Policeman - by Ross Empson
Neapolitan police man. Sergeant
Where the fuck does that leave our policeman
Hiding, hating, hurting
They said she mighta died
Shiney porcilan
Do hetrosexuals enjoy taking shits as much as homosexuals?
Another piece all about me
Fuck you this piece was about me
All bullshit but I've bated ya
A tired man with tired skin
Slip on some lotion when you dwell by the ocean
No way Make way It's payday
Little different - oh are you
Scenario from the bath tub
Digital fish in a finger fuck
And after his shift wants his pin go pop
The Night Shift Nurses sex rehearsals
Bus home boner cause he was a loner
Home alone when he unlocks the door
She's going out with Joseph she thinks he is the mostest
He runs a bath and gets his piston twisting
The mirror mistin a bath consisting of bubbles of froth as he was tossing off
Well he's in the bath and the plateau's passed
And the phones been ringing adingaling linging
Then he trips and falls on the slippery tiles
To where the phone is at the cats on the mat Smilin'
This is the time when his sis got home
One bone hanging out the other one flaccid
What'd you know Joe's on acid too
Now he's on his back down on the mat
Joe's absorbed, Mary's bored she makes her way down to the end of the hall
Give her a fuck in the cunt that willing bitch ( Please read this line in a Germanic accent )
What the hell you might as well
Jumps in the bath pumps up her stash
And the sperm he left well they're swimin too
This is Darwinism don't want to cause a schism
We have our first gig on Saturday which will be interesting and I know we are all looking forward to it. We have yet to get the step up power transformer in but hopefully that will be today sometime. I have ordered T-shirts and we can print as soon as they turn up.
All in all we are going to LA after this with a new recording many more contacts and a killer set. Also we will be more experienced in business and better negotiators. Calgary is quiet but it really seems like it is the perfect place to make this record, we can relax into it, Quigs has his drums set up so that he can practice anytime, ash has his studio in our bedroom and he said last night he just had a brain wave that was going to power him into the final phase of writing for this release, This is great news as keeping him creative is a major thing that needs to happen. Michele can relax she is nowhere near the Cross or her friends that have that kind of lifestyle. I mean if we had gone straight to LA where Britt is at present there would be so many distractions that I would feel as if it would be hard to get anything done. Here we have on unified mission and it is an amazing feeling. Everybody here is about supporting us in our goal. Dave, his wife Endre etc.
So good. So far.
Ok so it's Wednesday the week after the last paragraph. Yes we did play on Saturday night. At the Bar Fly to be exact, on 11th. This place was a classic, owned by Clint a John Goodman look-alike with his sidekick Shelly a toothy blond with an infectious grin and adequate proportions. Anyway the room was small the PA was shocking, Dave got really excited and then really drunk, we made
$35.00 etc. Thank the gods for merch where we managed to make $120.00.
So that was that Dave woke up in a most apologetic frame of mind, embarrassed that he had gotten drunk, he seems to understand that that is not where we are at. Tourettes think of gigs as work and therefore getting drunk at work is a no no.
Sunday was a day for relaxing, Michele didn't get home from Denny's where she went for waffles until 6 am and so we basically lazed the day away.
Monday started with a bang and there was much to do, although I can't quite remember what it was that I did but I know that I did go to the gym and practice as per usual.Oh that's right Monday night we got stuck into printing T shirts and did 95 of them front and back,which was great and even better was that Quigs single handedly ironed the whole lot the next night. That was last night and I had had an argument with Michele, which was pointless, and then felt like it would be nice to get the hell out of the dodge and so I went down town by myself and checked out a few bars. I put gay Calgary into google and came up with detour bar 318 17th street where I met a nice guy called Chris who is a chef. He took me to a place called the backlot where his 45 year old boyfriend met us and we chatted for a couple of hours, I got there number because I want to make some friends in town so that I have places to go away from the band. Anyway I said that I would invite myself over for dinner and they seemed to think that would be Ok so yeh it was nice. Also as they were leaving they paid the tab which was nice but even better Chris palmed me a little bag of grass. How cool. I think we could be friend he is only 30 and very good looking, his boyfriend is older 15 years older and quite conservative looking. I suppose it takes all types.
Fuck some days are harder than others. We have been in Vancouver for just under a week and man what the fuck is going on, nobody knows. I mean arrrggghhhhh!!!!!
Michele just passed me as I was on the way out of the net Cafe. She was on the way in. White Trashing her way across Canada; expect another installment. Oh what am I doing, Max is in London I want to be with him, he can't remember what I look like and I live in an RV Park?????
The story of Friday September 24 2004. Tourettes gig at the Brickyard, 315 Carrall St Vancouver.
Vancouver is a divided town. There seem to be many rich people, ( maybe I have told this story before - it does seem to be the same everywhere ), and many poor people. The poor people who in this case are the walking dead zombie kind of Crack addict variety have their area, which seems to be down the "Stadium" end of town near "Waterfront". They exist in an approx 6-block radius. There is a definite zone bounded by Hastings and Cambie down to Carrall. These folks live their lives out on the sidewalk hustling deals, swaying from leg to leg exchanging important conversation like " I gave you the money before," " No you didn't" etc.
So the gig we played is smack right in the middle of the action, cheap hotels, some of them by the hour, morose drug affected people looking way older than they probably are, police casually swaggering around saying hello to the locals. You know the usual stuff. Plenty of dudes with everything they own in a shopping trolley. The Brickyard as with most of our gigs was arrived at by Tourettes 6 hours prior to kick off. This is not unusual, especially in a new town where no one is exactly sure of the lay of the land, combined with the near bit champing to evacuate the RV when given even a whiff of a chance. So there we are 6 hours to kill. Gene Hoglan - Big Gene of Strapping Young Lad is also there. He knows the drill. His drum tech turns up and gets everything together for him. This night we have the pleasure of playing with Gene and one of his other bands - JUST CAUSE. Now they were some interesting chaps, but more on that later. Right now it's time for Ross to get the fuck out of the dodge and take a walk around Vancouver downtown. Left off Carrall into Hastings reveals the Army Navy store, a kind of Lowes on steroids, say no more. Just past there the Winky dinks Pub loomed up under a flashing neon sign telling me to "save on meat", presumably next door to Winky's is a wholesale butcher, by this stage it was around 8.30pm. So no meat for Rossy tonight. Across the road on Hastings is the Salvation Army crisis centre and a bunch of cool looking dilapidated buildings that house the zombie crew. Although the top floor of one just adjacent to Salvos did look pretty done up as though some one thought it was a nice place to live. To be honest it would be cool there if you could handle the street scene. A block or so up I passed the Amsterdam pub, which is situated in "Pot Block" according to the graffiti on the wall out side. Bunch of stoners chewin' blunts, I did notice that upstairs was a shop that you could buy "Stoner seeds" Cool. I suppose.
So I am just about to leave Zombie land, today is Monday so I'm living in my memory but certainly by the time I cross Granville which is kind of Vancouver's main street I am well and truly in the well to do area. Fuck I can't quite remember which street I turned left onto but it had a bunch of expensive hotels and the like, I was heading parallel to Granville into the downtown area. And what a difference a few blocks make, no tweakers, and all the zombies have been supplanted by a barrage of Virgin mega store shopping rich yuppie pastel wearing metro sexual blah blahs. Wow
So now I can by a hotdog for $2.50 wit (sic) fried onions. Which I don't, not being one to ingest processed meat by choice. It does tend to give me a headache, not to mention the colon problems that can ensue. Oh fuck I digress.
Anyway I had my Fuck It All on and aroused the attention of a few local rich kid rappers who challenged me to a battle, they had their beats on a ghetto, I gracefully declined and headed back down Granville by doing a blocky round Robson past what seemed like some kind of arts centre - "It's not the design world" it screamed - "It's the design of the world" I suppose it was meant to entice the rich kids into learning something.
Back at the club, (Oh hang on I forgot that I passed Vancouver's favourite Country Music pub on the way back. At the Brickyard and now it's 9.45pm. Not much has happened, Just Cause are just about to sound check sans one guitarist who has decided to come a bit later. They do it, as Quigs would say and then we do. Which is good because I am about to expire with boredom by this stage and thank fuck I went for that walk, because if I had had to sit around that pub while all the sound checks stuff took forever I would have had to killed. Blah
So we are just about to do our sound check Just Cause have decided to set up their merch stand and I, yours truly, realise that I, that's me, have forgotten to bring the Cds to sell, of course no one else remembered either but then again as Big Gene pointed out after I return from the RV park and hour or so later that I am the one who checks the lists. Whatever the fuck that means! What it does mean is that Michele had obviously been allaying herself of any blame by describing me as the list checker of the band. List Checker indeed.
So I forgot to mention sound check, the sound guy Nick who does some of Strapping's sound was really cool and he made me turn my amp backwards so that the speaker was not facing the audience. This worked really cool and I was really happy with my sound, I had also changed amps from the Eden head that I had initially tried at the last gig to a SWR 500 which was cooler. Along with this I had also changed strings and had a fresh battery in the pre amp, which in combination helped my "tone dude".
Our gig was a killer, the Brickyard actually taped the whole thing from the desk with a VHS and from our post gig dissection I can still say confidently that we fucked shit up. It was tight and cool.
Just Cause were as Gene promised - Brutal, he is a monster drummer.
We didn't get out of there till 3.30am and Michele went with Gene to a party which us three boys then tried to find but couldn't and then we went back to RV life.
The Next Day
The next day we went round to the studio where Devin Townsend and the rest of the Strapping boys have been recording their latest album. We hung there all day and sang on a few tracks with a bunch of their friends. It was really cool. Devin was way cool and down to earth, a really genius freak, conducting the singing parts with the gusto of my old primary school choir leader - mmmmmmmmm hand movements and all.
Gene is so hospitable and Byron who we met at the Big Day Out with Fear Factory was there also. I think we may be going to a BBQ at his tonight. Their friends are also very polite and cool Ani & Val have a very wild chopper which they tear around on, this other guy Conan from a band Cyanotic took us under his wing also and drove us home late at night which was really nice of him, as getting around Vancouver late at night without a car is fucking impossible. I haven't seen Michele since then as she is staying with Gene til Wednesday when she is going to do a radio show appearance. If this BBQ happens she'll probably be there.
The Next Next Next Day and the few before.
Post gig euphoria gave way quickly to the reality of having little money, living in an RV park in buttfucksville mid Vancouver. Ah Ah I hear you sigh and rebuke my language - can old Ross fit another Fuck into this story. Of course he can and fuck me if I'm not fucking bored shitless at present.
Last night I took a 4 hour walk to no where. Why? No reason. Oh I recall! Yeah that's it. I was being - and once again I am obliged to quote our mistress of words, the fine, graceful yet obliquely sublime Miss Michele Madden - I believe I was being " A whinging FAGGOTT", oh so I went for a stroll. Up hill and down dale along the many straight roads that perpendicularly intersect to make up the exchange of ashphalt called Vancouver. I stopped to buy some beer, I drank it.
And in an aside beer prices here are significantly higher than in Calgary.
Fuck, I digress. I was going to discuss retail price points of shit here in Vancouver verses those of small town Calgary.
So there you have it. Daddy O.
So back to me.
A little, yet illuminating list.
Yesterday I broke my sunglasses.
Back in Calgary
Yeh so here we are back at old 628.
Some people do have big RVs and some people have smaller ones. And some people have ones of middling size, ones that lie at neither end of the RV spectrum, presumably willing or at least able to inhabit the space in between.
People who inhabit RVs tend to a social reflection of their mobile domicile and as often as not, like their RVs, need their shit pipes clearing when the build up gets high. Let me set this gim straight.
It is true in between space can be seen to attribute to a âmeat and three veg' attitude in some. This can lead to blockages, colon problems, the need for irrigation and the like. Suburban minds like the RVs of suburbanites have a certain odour of middleclass paralysis, one that if left unchecked by ambition could lead to any number of situations, most likely unexpected and dire.
Now in respect to taking a crap in your RV whilst residing in said RV Park type situations, my personal preference is to not. That said who am I to dictate the vastitudes and functioning's of others hearts, minds & bodies. I will though offer this - if I were in âcontrol' there would not be so much of a build up of shit. Enough said. Let's correct the play.
Open the hatch, poke your head, around unscrew the cap, attach the pipe, pull the handle and let her rip. Now, much like their inhabitants or at least some of them, middleclass RVs with there undoubtedly substandard evacuation pipes can spring leaks. It's a case, in most circumstances of taping up the wound, as mucky and temporary as that may be and continuing on until the next time the relief valve needs attention, by which time ( and let me say that this is a personal hope ) - the process of ambition has taken over and the awe that has been inspired within the RV dweller by certain sewer pipe displays, retail merchandising and the functioning's of shop clerks i.e., " Do you want a fresh sewer pipe with that?" Reinforcement by establishment owners and The Jones' next door may have contributed to the exchange of money for flexible tubing.
I say it's a bit like psychotherapy. Pay the money, clear the shit. If you can afford the best shit clearance, say you prefer to shop at David Jones rather than Target then Bob's your uncle and all is good in the hood my friend. Besides the smell, but then that's only temporary and if you like myself have mostly mastered the gagging reflex, ( this does take a little practice, but give it a chance - who knows you may come to enjoy it ) then Bob may be your lover as well as your uncle. Which does tend to sequay into my next topic.
Incest and in breeding Saskatoon style.
Now I can hear the bleat of worried hearts. No we haven't been paddock joining various members of the band to see the results. Although Professor Ash does like the Serengeti approach when examining the rituals of natives this does not include say Quigs and myself mating for his scientific gratification. The professor as we will be calling him from now on is at least a benevolent gracious hearted fellow of philanthropic inclinations rather than the maneleavent dictator he is so widely supposed by some.
Enough of this shit!
Let's talk of the Goler family - famous in Saskatoon for their inbreeding, remember the X files episode where they have the mother fucking all and sundry members of the fam, she's strapped to a roll out trundle under the master bed. In my mind the Goler's are something like this.
The Goler's are also a band from Vancouver. Their guitarist & singer Walter is from some place near Golerville and well he thought why name the band after this famous family.
They have a CD out called 2nd Generation, here's the track list -
Now listen kids here's a story I heard, apparently Big Daddy Goler had a game he used to play, it went something like this. He made all the family run to the outhouse and back daily, the first person back, the winner, was then excluded from sexual duties for that day. I suppose it paid to be a fast runner.
Walter not only performs with the Golers but he is also the bass player from Just Cause, which is one of the mighty Gene Hoglan's ( drummer from Strapping Young Lad ) side projects. R U beginning to see the line.
Anyway we played with Just Cause and Gene at the Brickyard in Vancouver, this gig was great, as described earlier in these very pages. The Professor in his pursuit of anthropological insight found Walter at a Pawnshop near the aforementioned Star Bucks. Here endeth the lesson. Hang on a second, I forgot that while we were at the Strapping studio session we were actually missing a house demolition party where the Golers were playing, there were many arrests and 3 houses burnt to the ground. Fuck it, I do so hate when our busy schedule causes the inconvenience of having to choose between invitations.
Actually before I go on let me tell you the story of my free ticket to Ministry at the Commodore.
Now Ministry for the few of you who don't know are an awesome beast of an Industrial band they are approximately 20 years in the making and their set was killer, this is how my night went.
This Wednesday and I have made flyers for Tourettes second gig in Vancouver at the Waldorf. Thus I am down at Commercial Drive ( coolville Vancouver ) trying to pimp my wears when I see Ani a girl we had met at the Brickyard gig.
That about somes up that part except that we do meet again much later that night.
Needless to say that by the time I have spoken to half the crowd at the Commodore, been handed more than enough joints, met 3 Australians who insist of buying me drinks throughout the show, then go hang around the backstage door only to be given another 3 beers that Gene has gotten from back stage, I am rightly messy. This night has only just begun. Time check and it's about 11pm. Oh by the way Ministry was a complete onslaught from the first beat, Al Jorgensen, the main dude, was amazing! An orator to the masses beseeching us to behold the power of Industrial metal and the compressed agony of the modern condition. Great.
So now Ross' famous night at the Asbolt in the Astoria Hotel, East Hastings.
Fuck I was drunk!
Firstly there is a naked guy doing Karaoke and amazingly enough it wasn't me. Then I mount Michele on the pool table, then about 7 or 8 of us do a most likely horrible chorus line version of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, then not sure, then everybody I know has left, I seem to have drunk more and more but haven't been to the bar once. I am now friend's with everybody who is left and go home with the promoter/ DJ whose name is Wendy. Time check and it's 6am.
We are accompanied by Stuart and Jay ( Long Hair ). Back at Wendy's I crash on the couch, while they stay up and Wendy makes Deer stew. At 8 am she wakes me up and feeds me two bowls of delicious stew. At 8.15am I am asleep again, at 9 am I am searching around for pain relief and eventually happen upon some cold and flu caps, they will do. At 1 pm I go to the toilet and fall over Jay who is asleep on the floor. He suggests that seeing as we are up that we should get some breakfast, the only problem being that we are locked in the house. This is only a short-lived situation as we decide to climb out the window. We walk to Bon's Diner and have their $2.95 breakfast. Great! Something more to soak up the mess of alcohol that inhabits my body. On our way home we run into a couple that Jay knows and they spark a mid afternoon joint of mammoth proportions. Such is Vancouver. Then I am on the Sky Train stoned out of my mind and stinking of the night before. It is sunny and hot; I am hung over and shocked. RV park toilet block for me, 45 minutes in the shower and at least I am clean. Thank you for getting this far.
Ross
We flew here on Canadian Airlines flight CA 34 which touched down in Vancouver at mid morning on Sunday 29 August 2004. Of course we were all a bit fucked after having been on the plane for about 17 hours via Honolulu where we'd had to pass through US customs and then hang for an hour or so.
At Vancouver immigration was interesting. I mean four musicians turning up for a holiday with plenty of the musical stuff in toe was enough to arouse the suspicion of all and sundry. Suffice it to say Quigs crept under the radar whilst Michele and Ash had a small dose of inconvenience and yours truly was made to wait and wait whilst others prayed & I'll quote Michele here " I havent prayed so much since Catholic school and I'm Jewish ". Eventually I was issued a visitors visa, which was accompanied by much typed and computerized annotation for later perusal if all turns to shit. Of course I won't be working or undertaking education institutionalization whilst within said Canadian borders. Blah
Well then we caught another short flight to Calgary an hour later than expected due to our immigration sitch. Dave was there with a couple of dudes, Greg and Michael and so it was off to the RV. For the uninitiated that is Recreational Vehicle, 34 foot of fun bus the Ford Challenger affectionately known as the Millennium falcon home to Tourettes. Cramped and beautiful, ridiculous and warm. Parked on the street in front of Dave's, thank God for the swimming pool and gym just across the street where I have decided to spend twice daily sessions, where sweat then ablution seems the order of the day. Besides that there is the garage where gear and stuff is hanging with the discards of the Martin family. The old electric cooker, TV, double bed etc.
They reside in a modest house with David's business partner Kevin living in the basement. Add us and the daycare baby Alex to the mix and the place is full to overflowing. Not that anyone seems to care all is cool at 628.
The '83 Buick is a historical piece the broadband net a godsend I'm not too sure about my diarrhea today but you get that.
Did I say we have an RV, it's not just us! Apparently we are going to be enlightened to beauty of the RV Community when we frequent RV parks on the road and see how it is in RV land. Ashley can't wait, Michele thinks it will be a return to her 'Whitetrash' roots I don't care I suppose sociological investigation is part of being a musician and Quigs will be buried to the neck in drum tab as per usual.
The RV has a TV sink corridor bathroom double bed eatery/ single bed conversion and a sofa bed. Two of it's sides extend out and the generator gives us humming electricity. Ash and I are sharing the double bed, he says it's Ok as long as I don't cuddle up to him but I found that he was the one snuggling in and cooing mamma the other night. Just call me Margot! Michele and Quigs got the single beds, Michele because she âdidn't even sleep in the same bed as my ex husband' and Quigs because he needs to listen to Canadian radio before bed to get the complete trans global effect. Ash has set up his portable studio in our boudoir so I am virtually banished during the day. But thems the breaks aye.
Diarrhea is the word for today at least for me although I am sure that caught it off Quigs who went down like a bag of shit two days ago forcing me to pick bits of his spew from the plug hole of the RV basin. Lovely.
Am I rambling? Maybe.
I have made my own home in Dave's home office where the Internet connection is and I intend to stay. It's warm inside and if you can ignore little children's pained cries for attention it's not so bad.
Yesterday we went to a place called Costco, which is the huge wholesale warehouse for I suppose retail or business owners. It's a bit like Campbell's cash and carry except that it is 20 times a big and has everything from gold jewelry to electronic goods and pharmaceutical.
Everything here is big. Except that doesn't mean that everything is available. I mean we went to buy a step up transformer so that we can run a couple of our 240 volt electrical items for on stage etc and they had to order it from Montreal. Calgary though is only a million people so it's a bit small I suppose except for all the big things.
There are a lot of fat men in the change room at the swimming pool and they all talk to each other, which I think is cute. I wonder if it's ok to converse in lift ( I mean elevators ) here?
It does seem that people are very friendly, which is good.
We are going to Edmonton on the weekend to have a look around and then it's into gigs and pre-pro on the recording.Â
Back again 6.30pm Thursday in the first week of September 2004 it has become impossible for me to tell the date. Tonight we are doing another meet and greet with some local industry types over cheap spaghetti and karaoke. I am going to sing My Way or New York New York; they are the only tunes for me I learnt them in South Korea where I was forced to sing and I aint changing now.
Dave is at the door saying we have to go time to eat and relax before the storm. We are now international recording artists and when we went to this night club last night they announced that we were there and everybody cheered. It was like some mad teen movie, meat Balls or something.
Actually we met the guy who is the studio owner and famous engineer Andre Lacasky two nights ago and he was a hyperactive Jaco Pastorius clone that cannt wait to record us. It seems that people here believe in the project and the bottom line is that they think we are all going to make money. Fingers crossed and I have been in contact with our lawyer Andy Edwards from Brett oaten in Sydney. They are the pre-eminent
I have been to the gym again and there does seem to be a large Chinese community that frequent the place.
So now it is the next afternoon and we have literally just driven off in the Rv from Dave's house. Today. Wow.
We all woke up at about five am to the sounds and smells of Michele spewing, it seems the Cesar chicken salad from last night which she termed Salmonela Salad at the restaurant turned out to be just that. She was chronic and all the rest. In fact so much so that I said don't worry I'll clean it up tomorrow which turned out to be a drama as she has managed to clog the whole drain with little pieces of soggy lettuce. Yum. Any I had my fingers down there and it still wasn't getting any batter then eventually I thought if I use a sponge to get the water out I might be able to just pick the lumps out. Well that wasn't going to be the case as not long after the drain started spewing up all by itself and it was like fucking rotaroua. Then it was a trip to Wal-Mart for drain o and a plunger, neither of each worked as the whole waste tank was full of all sorts. A quick note on RV waste. There are in fact two tanks, the waste water and the piss and shit.
Actually as we have just started out on our first journey to Edmonton there is a bad smell in the RV and Mike our resident road dude is lying on the floor of the corridor trying to get to the waste trap air vent to see if it is all sealed correctly. YuK!
Needless to say Michele is still fucked and resting on the double bed. I went to the pool this morning but forgot my towel and so I had to dry off under the hand blower, which wasn't so bad. We spent most of the early afternoon packing up everything and stowing it in the under compartments of the RV and now it's 4.15 and Yes we are on the road!
Last night we went to this restaurant, where we all ate the same lasagna, except Michele and her aforementioned salad. It was a bar really that served food and they had Karaoke where I did sing My Way in the style of Sid Vicious, such amusement.
Well we are somewhere north of Edmonton at frog lake. This is strange, what kind of situations do you have to go through to climb the rock and roll ladder? Right now it seems that all kinds of things must be sat through on the road to achieving our goals.
It is Labor Day long Weekend in Canada and we are at Frog Lake with the Pyro guys, it is their annual end of year bash and they are going to blow things up. Thank God for my Laptop. I am now sitting under the awning of Pat's "Trailer Tent" what I would call a pop-top caravan. She is a forty something early riser and we shared coffee at 9 am whilst everyone else was asleep. I need this shade so that I can see what's going on on the screen.
So now it is the next day again and it is pissing down severely. Tonight was or is going to be the big fireworks party to end all parties but if it keeps raining like this I for one am not setting foot out of the RV. Yesterday after writing the stuff two paragraphs ago I sat down and had a big talk with Dave to try and qualify a little more how he sees the future, his role and what is going on. Actually all was good and as I have been feeling quite settled about the why and the how.
As I said it is pissing fuck down and I am writing again in the RV listening to Ministry which is kind of an away from home thing for me as I had this CD 10 years ago in South Korea and took great solace in then as I do now! So I am not into fireworks, never have been, never will be! My saying which I haven't used in present company is that " I f you've seen one fireworks display, you've seen em' all!" So call me whatever you like. I want to ROCK and any other stuff just seems like something to pass the time. I take that back actually because, I know that I'd rather be hanging with my friends especially Max and doing nothing with him except being tickled or playing would please me more than I can express.
Here is a fucking classic for you. Dave our dude in Canada has just been driven off to the hospital by two of this fellow Pyro mates as he wasn't feeling too well. Seems that last night while we sitting around the camp fire the chemicals that they were throwing in to change the colour of the flames may have contributed to his fuckedness as he cooked a steak in said fire this morning and was almost immediately ill. I hope all is going to be OK because Chems are serious shit when ingested. Fuck!
Me and Michele went with all the kids to go frog catching down by the lake this morning and that was fun. It rained a little but was Ok and the kids are all nice. They like her a lot. She is kind of like the King of the Kids! None of us do this wilderness thing very well and we are itching to get back to town and get on with it.
Bombay airport
Gate 17 11.30 pm June 25, 2004
I have been in India a for nearly three weeks and feel absolutely exhausted. Oh
well I keep thinking of the money and that's about all I can think.
India is a mixed place. So many poor people living among so much wealth. All the working
Indian people get a bit angry when I gave money to beggars and Bernie my boss
said I should stop it. But when confronted by beggars knocking at the window of
our car who range from limbless to downright starving it is difficult to not
feel that anything that could be done would help a little.
I have heard all the stories about the organised begging rackets where half the money goes to
profiteering leaders, but I didn't care. At least these people would hopefully
get something from the money that I was handing out.
Our hotel was this giant embarrassing comfort zone for the rich and elite. Surrounded by slums and people
sleeping under plastic and Hessian, the hotel loomed up ungraciously near the
western freeway anywhere between 25 mins and 2 hours from the centre of town
depending on the traffic. Traffic that is chaotic and tremendous, everything in
Bombay is about the traffic. Status and you place in society can just about be
read from your mode of transport. The poorest don't go anywhere, just up from
there walking is the only option, then bicycle, then bus, then auto rickshaw ( a
kind of 3 wheeled taxi similar to the Thai Tuk Tuk ) then Taxi, then private car
driven by a driver or yourself. If you have a driver he may work for someone and
you hire him by contract or maybe he has been with your family for many years. I
you drive yourself then most likely you don't get you car out til after dark and
then you drive to a restaurant or night spot, where the valet can assist
you.
On the road in Bombay after dark , especially downtown the amount of more
expensive cars becomes strikingly apparent and in some places one could be
easily convinced that it was a different city they were in as compared to hustle
of daytime driving cacophony
fuck it again I say, or I fucked it again as Britney may.
You should check out this clip. It is from the roof top of a cheap hotel that we stayed
in , in the town of Fes. This place was amazing! Very passionate people!
so I said fuck it
AND HERE I AM SIK FUKS back in your computer. came up out of me to you, some would say like the diarrhea that
came pouring from my bowel 5 minutes before I went on stage last saturday at the Annandale.
There I am in the toilet trying to make the toilet paper despencer work, obviously in
trouble, thanks to the kind punter ( who was that guy? )- white shirt shoulder length
frizzy hair. Come forward and claim your prize.
Feb 2nd, 2004
What Ross ate at Catering Day 1
So what!
Anyway I'm going on holiday to Spain with by boyfriend Max. So suck shit to all of you left
behind.
The year is going to be huge and as soon as I get home from Europe Tourettes will be touring
to Melb & Bris and in between. So get there if you can!!!
C U early March.
This past week as been quite a busy one. Just before christmas I got an email from a guy in
Canada. His name is David S Martin and he lives in Calgary which at this moment is covered
in ice and snow. Well anyway he is a promoter and stuff, besides this he has something to
do with a Metal show on radio there called Megawatt Mayhem. He is digging on Tourettes at
the moment and has taken the initiative to propose that he sends some of our Cds and promo
stuff to his contacts in North America. Yee Ha!! So I sent him a box load of Tourettes
goodies to see what he can do with them. I'll keep you posted. Hi Dave and Kevin.
Ashley and Michele have been hard at work writing more songs and we will be playing one of
them at the Big Day Out shows. We'll also be reving it up at some small gigs in Sydney just
prior to the BDO. Namely -
Here's my confession
Dec 13 2003.
Did you know that in the Australian Aborigines who were in fact firstly from the New
Guinea/Australian continent before it split into it's current state; were the first people
in the world to use watercraft and that they were the first people to be brave enough to
use those craft to travel to places further than they could see from the shoreline of their
homes.
This adventureous spirit has given rise, I feel, to my own longing to travel beyond the
shoreline of this vast and most beautiful holiday isle. I am no longer cro-magnon yet at
present I seem not to be in my canoe but still shaping it's bow. Gently guiding my plane
over the surface of my chosen tree trunk, manipulating nature to my own ends. Purchasing
freedom and delivering myself to the inevitable throws of time.
Our fearless leader!
Me and Lee in our humble digs
The crew at EVs youth center Croydon. God bless em!
Us at the Espy. Lovely
Abrasion and the rest. The Arthouse Melb
XXXX.Brisbane's finest brew.
Uproot yourself early and get to our famous 11am kick off time. Nothin'
like rock n roll in the am sun. Let me assure you of that!!
So while driving here I am typing. This trip to Melbourne will be our third and Michael is
driving as, Ashley and Myself along with Lee, who is here to film the trip, have just smoked
a joint at the Phesants Nest truck stop which is a long time fav first stop south out of
Sydney.
Passing the Tip Top semi right at this moment. Ash is reading a book called white powder
which is about a Bolivian jail which has restuants that also sell drugs and most anything
to the tourists.
Michele is in the back reading some kind of leso porn.
Yesterday I picked up the 2nd pressing of Detestimony, our 2nd 500.
We are very confidant for people who have worked so hard and have only move 100 or so units
in the shops since August. But we all believe in this.
Michele asked me yesterday if we were going all the way and I responded to her , Apparently!
She said that she always gave us pep talks and that she needed one now, so I should deliver
and I confidently said, well what the fuck else are we going to do.
Talk about a barrel of laughs.
It is becoming a little more apparent recently too me how I am perceived by others.
That I am a bit of a control freak, gone wrong. They look at me and try to give me little
talkings to about these displays of attitude that usually involve me looking sullen.
Once again blah and I wonder if I even care.
In the case above though I do have one good point and it is the thing that I'll look to now
for some slight justification and that is that those disapproving types that can't handle
the attitude are also the ones who are recurringly incompetent.
What happens when you get old is that you realise all the work that you have done to earn
the money which you have spent and along with this you understand that you'll never do that
much work again. It's time to figure out a smarter way to construct wealth.
Gunning, the Gunning cafe. Tourettes have a way of making somewhere their own immediately.
Case in point is the very posh gunning cafe run by Davo the guy who's little girl had fallen
15 m onto her head, had half her brain fall out and then made a complete recovery.
Also he is remembered as the guy who thaws out his hamburger mince in front of the heater.
Much to Ashley's disgust and horror. May be he is a snowballer like Michele keeps saying.
She says Ashley gargles for rent! X 3
And Quigs has a place for everything. Very compartmentalised.
Lee is a stoner boy from Canberra. Quite smart but ready to and I quote "make his career out
of being Lee."
Fair enough I say. I'm making my career out of being Ross.
I feel like Michele is the woman in my life, I `don't think that we'll ever let go of this
thing. Ash and Quiggs are like brothers and for all our worries about our selves and each
other I think that we have an over riding feeling as a group about tourettes, that it is
what we want to do and we want to get up. I mean play the game,that's why I want to go to
the States I'm tired of playing in little league.
That's it I feel like we have nearly graduated from the school of rock and can fly the coup
and be free.
Free bird I hear Michele.
Don't forget you heard it here first. And as for that fucker in the guestbook - you can
choke on my greased up knob motherfucker I've got the delete key here so piss the fuck off
and don't come back. Cunt!
"Doktor BOLT here;
at the carcrash you can't tell the girls from the boys - and theres a prize for every child"
So you can see for yourself it was worth the wait.
These two show the extreme conditions we have to live through.
This is Michele and Nathan from brisbane band Preferrence. A great band from up that way!
Tourettes at the beach is a strange thing . But then again this is Queensland.
So besides that the band as a unit was on its best behaviour and we only went down $$$
a little bit. It's to be expected at this level but as it was only a little we celebrate.
here are a couple of photos that illustrate some real music making!
this ones great can't you hear the chanting from the nose bleed seats. Tourettes
Tourettes Tourettes......!!!!!!!!
What luxury No expense spared to get Tourettes to the Gig on time!
see caption above
The story of Tourettes begins in 1999 at a party in Rose Bay in Sydney's eastern suburbs.
Michele Madden was the host, Ashley Manning the friend of a friend. A casual jam session
provoked Ash to ask Michele if she was interested in forming a band. Michele needed little
encouragement- she was born to front a band!
Composer/producer Ash who had dedicated his energy to electronic music throughout the
nineties was so taken by Michele's rock 'n roll sensibilities that he revisited his first
instrument; the guitar and Tourettes was born.
The Tourettes sound was heralded by "Kill 'em All"- the pair's first collaboration. Shortly
after this Ashley met Ross Empson at yet another party and offered him the bass position in
Tourettes based on nothing more than Ross' description of himself as "an industrial bass-player".
In January of 2000 Ross ran into Mike Quigley outside a Red Hot Chilli Peppers show. The
pair had worked together in a variety of settings in the mid-nineties and Ross had a feeling
Mike might be the guy to 'take on' the unique feel and intensity of Ashley's drum programs.
In March Mike successfully auditioned for the band, and together they began rehearsing the
material that would become the first album. These tracks had come together in Michele and
Ashley's sessions- which were sometimes so volatile that Ross and Mike invariably decided
to go to the pub and leave them to it.
By May the album had been written, and the band was ready to play its first gig at Sydney's
Iron Duke Hotel, with Kyser and Neo-Ezy. 2000 saw Tourettes establish themselves as a live
entity while the studio recordings were sparking interest from whomever heard them. Gigs at
Maroubra Jtn Hotel, Planet Rock in Penrith, and Bar Broadway added weight to the band's claim
as the most unique outfit on Sydney's heavy scene, with guts, charisma, skill and vision,
Tourettes attracted audiences and industry attention very quickly.
Tourettes launched their debut album in February 2001 at the Excelsior Hotel in Surrey Hills
following it up with gigs at Caringbah's 'Bizzos' and Manly's 'Fishos' . Triple J programmers
were struck by the band's interpretation of Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime", and began
spinning Tourettes tracks both on heavy metal programs and in mainstream timeslots.
In the middle of 2001 Michele travelled to New York where she recorded new material with
another band, before deciding to return to Sydney and devote her attention and energy to
Tourettes.
Tourette's reunion in July 2001 cemented the commitment the quartet felt towards the project.
The band worked hard, supporting the likes of Henry's Anger, Jerk, Kyser and then as a headline
act- unusual for a band that still seemed new - Tourettes, though had the ability to upstage
more experienced outfits with their intensity and originality, and were popular with venues
for the amount and type of audience they generated.
In October Tourettes were guests of Hellraiser at Sydney's Metro Theatre supporting Snog,
and proving that this band were ready to address any size room with authority. The band
started climbing the bills of metal nights across town continuing to make each night their own.
In 2002 Tourettes were busier than ever. Steadily building a following, developing a line of
merchandise and a professional website and all the while accumulating masses of new material
for their second record; one which would eventually capture the energy of all four members,
further the musical concept, and allow Michele to express herself in an even more vivid fashion.
In June Tourettes visited Sydney's Annandale Hotel for the first time, to entertain the crowd
after the launch of 3 Point Tilt's c.d. While the 'Tilt' boys celebrated after their set,
Tourettes took the party into their own hands from the stage, and consequently were offered
their own headline show in August.
Videos were being filmed, posters, shirts and flyers printed- Tourettes were moving to another
level, and it was time to record another cd. After December's gigs with Earth and Daysend,
the band retreated from public performance to rehearse, record, and mix "Detestimony".
In February 2003 on a limited budget Tourettes captured a performance in three days that
established bands can afford months of studio time to achieve. A further two months of post
production on what Ash describes as 'sonics' and Detestimony was unveiled!
In May work began on the music video to "Stand", and Tourettes prepared to launch their new
e.p.
June 26 at the Annandale Hotel made it clear that while Tourettes had been 'gone' from the
live environment for more than 6 months, they were by no means forgotten. It was a huge
turnout supported by Brisbane's Japunga and Tourettes' old partners Neo-Ezy. The event was
followed up with well-received gigs at The Tote and Green Room in Melbourne, Newcastle's
Cambridge Hotel and "Detour To Hell" in Sydney.
As Tourettes returns to the airwaves on many stations across Australia who support independent
music, including Triple J, The band is preparing to venture into Queensland, return to
Melbourne and continue appearing before as many new audiences as possible. With videos
ready to air now is the time to harness all available support across the country for the
"Once In A Lifetime" experience that Tourettes represents.
So now you've got the background you'll understand this.
After 4 years of toiling around and countless years of work in other projects and locked in
our various bedrooms or studios tourettes have come to a point where we have been invited to
play the Big Day Out 2004.
Don't get me wrong - When I said earlier that there has been little help or acceptence out
there from the establishment I am very happy.
To Quickly name a few
Back I hope to my major point and that was something about being ignored to become a box??????
Oh yeh sitting on the edge of the stage at Candy's Apartment â Kings Cross Night club. Ken
West comes up to me to have a chat and along with asking tourettes if we would like to do
the Big Day Out he also waxes lyrical about the state of the music industry.
Something along the lines of The Music Industry is Fucked etc and many of the new bands that
are supported by the Industry (record companies and radio) are boxed into a corner. They do
this thing that is readily understandable to the audience/demographic that is being targeted
and this is because in most cases this is a regurgitation of a previous successful trend.
And Ken's point was I think - Stick to your guns and eventually the establishment will take
notice and they'll be scrambling for you. At which point (and In the case of tourettes ) we'll
be quite happy to tell them to fuck off.
Hello and welcome to Uprooted.
Why are you here - probably because you followed a link from tourettes.com.au.
Uprooted is a gallery for my shit and hopefully an inspiration to anybody that comes here
to self publish their own stuff - go on you know you want to. Check it "publish or perish".
Who am I - My name is Ross and I play bass in Tourettes. How do you do?
Well today is July 28th 2003 and it is the first day that Uprooted is on line so spare me
the "oh there isn't much on this guy's site shit", and read what's there.
"You will take your medicine - you'll take it all....."
So I suppose this is where I get to write to you. (Whoever you are?)
Here's something to consider
I'm not sure that I'd be at home now if I wasn't here or whether or not I'd be in a completely
different place altogether.
In the broken mirror glass we see the shattered remnants of past things - visuals from shards
of TV interspersed with mummy crying and what a bad / good little boy I was. The shards of
interpolated victory speeches and crushing rapes.
Some think they are better than others and this is what we get.
Not that I don't think that I'm better than some other people. Of course I am.
Its taken me along time to be able to write as I've had to grow used to the idea that anyone
out there might be interested in reading what I had written.
Maybe no one will think it is good. Maybe they will.
But we learn. We learn because we can. And nothing can stop that. Like an animal at the edge
of a fire. We learn the difference between warmth and pain.
Anyway fuck that internal stuff. I fucken hate hippies.
So let's get functional. Let's get back to humans wanting to be better than others.
To me this is the fundamental drive that 50% of people exhibit. They want to do better for
themselves and their families. (Themselves and themselves I sometimes think.)
So what's the point you ask me? The point is my, fine reader, is that the half of the
population that have been genetically bequeathed the cognitive skills to be able to get
ahead, are getting ahead for themselves and be damned the -
Obviously this isn't completely true but it goes along way in mapping out the simple
demographics of the haves and have-nots.
Still there will be some do gooders either - giving all ( surely there are some good people? )
or seeming to give all but as secretly as possible doing other stuff behind closed doors.
The doors that shut out the truth. The doors of the heart.
Ever increasingly we are educated in the ways of the elite and the practices they have
employed to satisfy their hungers.
And all the while my friends and I - you and I - we sit, read, watch, play, waste, spend,
annoy, hurt, confuse, deny and condone.
The Asians are playing some gambling machine in Spanish.
Not sure what language they are speaking.
This bar is small they probably come here a lot and to see me plugged into the wall and typing in the corner is probably a bit weird for them.
So they aren't the only ones who have been staring at me. On the way out of the house today I was helping Elmy back her van out and Michele ( a boy ), Bongi ( a girl ), and Frunch ( a boy ) are coming up the path after each getting a barrel of water from the showers at the beach. Anyway Frunch gave me the full death stare, like only a French man can. So there you have it I had better start at the beginning.
Our beautiful Jersey
Our fearless leader
Extreme barometric pressure
Me in the Lounge, very common look for yours truly
Fancy that yesterday I was hung over, maybe I am an alcoholic. Probably. Anyway I was up early cause, you know head ach in the distance of my waking dream blah so I get up and go to BBQ express which I hadn't been to before and later that night counted myself lucky to have survived from Pork not being my general fare it seemed to malinger as it casually made it's way to the back.
So two days of doom. That's what you get for drinking fine young and fearless combatants of beer and free shooters/
AWWW
Hello again
There is a strange feeling that I have sometimes. It sits some where between realised maturation and loneliness. Between the loss of any reason to share ones feeling with those you are surrounded by and the realisation that opinions should be kept to oneself. What?
What? Yes me too. And you? No. Yes? Should I feel alone in a crowded room? I do. Or alone when alone. I do. Alone is insignificant to structure of success. Success is insignificant to the real struggle of survival. My tempered existence is a meek, middle class muddle of meaningless metaphors.
And I have a sore back. I think that I must have pulled a muscle at the gym last night. I just dropped a Valium which hopefully will ease out the shit.
Ash is a deranged mess of track editing. He has been in front of his computer all day again at the studio. No rest for the wicked, that is for sure.
Everyone seems to making an early night of it. Michele and Michael have retired to their respective rooms and I am in the lounge again. I had a little nap at around 7pm so I will probably be up for a while yet. I spoke to my mum on the phone today and she said that it has been very warm in Sydney. I wanted her to send me some stuff that I need, a power supply for Max's computer so that I can take it to him in Spain next month and an NTSC copy of the Stand video that is in a box at their house, also my chopsticks that I forgot to bring and am missing. They will also be very handy in Spain. Spanish tapas is well eaten with chopsticks I find!
Anyway it's 3.26 am and we, the band have just had another of those horrid discussions precursored by Quigs believing that perhaps he may or may not be the right guy for the wrong job.
Oh my god.
I am just about as hung over as I could possibly be. Last night was the second night in a row that I have gotten inordinately drunk.
I think that the real story starts sometime midweek. I will paraphrase here, as there is no point pointing fingers at the players. However I am sure you are aware there is only a limited amount, of players, so you do the math.
So Juliet's it was. And to boot it was Karaoke this night but that's another story.
So it's early around 8pm and we are at Juliet's, me and Ash. Playing pool.
Maybe I'll just lead you by the hand through the Juliet's scene. As I said it has kind of become the place I go to get a drink, if I do, which is about twice a week and fortunately not to level of the past few days. Thank God for that modicum of self-control or is it that I am watching my bank balance, No, it is, Yeh; (what?) I definitely don't like to get too drunk I do though find some alcohol a necessary item in getting through the day to day-ness of life. I digress.
Strip Malls for the uninitiated, are that kind of drive in and park set of shops, where you pull into a car park on the edge of a main road and do what ever said strip mall can provide in terms of customer amenities. OK the strip mall that Juliet's inhabits in slap down between The First Calgary Credit Union ( which itself is adjacent to the CO-OP supermarket ) and the Trans Canada Liquor store. In the actual strip mall proper Juliet's is placed between a pet store and dog grooming / training establishment and an adult video store. All class.
Todd and Michael are the cooks.
Bobby is the bar manager/ main bar girl.
There is also one other main girl, her name I think is Kelly.
Many other younger girls work the floor. They come and ask, "Is everything OK over here?", meaning do you need another drink? They are like alcohol pushers.
So Bobby is pregnant with her second child, she doesn't know whether it will be a girl or a boy, she already has a boy.
She is tough and kind.
Kelly is her friend who often laments the fact that Bobby is now pregnant and that they can at least for the time being not stay back late at work and get drunk together.
She is tough and kind.
Michael Muckle is the other cook; he's worked there about 2 years and is younger than Tod and quieter. They are both nice guys. They sometimes take pity on us give out free food. Actually we often order wings there but only occasionally do they turn up on our bill at the end. That's one thing about bars in Canada - they all run tabs. So you'd better be reasonably careful about not over spending.
Let me recap, Ash is beating me at pool, it's karaoke, the guy who runs karaoke is Karl. He happens to be the same guy who was running Karaoke the first night that we went out in Calgary some months ago. Dave took us to this place called the Governors about 45 mins away from our usual haunts. Yeh I did my first Sinatra choice that night - My Way.
I will post a bit that was caught on video soon, A little bit Frank, a little bit Sid, a little bit Ross what can I say.
So we are friends with Karl too. He is just about to get the party started, but before he can do that the three of us have to go to his car and spark a doobie, this is Calgary after all.
About 6 weeks ago I was by myself at Juliet's, it was a Friday and I was reading my book while having a quiet late night lager.
And then there is this woman tussling my hair. She seems nice ish at least she is doing all the work. She says something like " Do you always read at bars?"
I say "Sometimes" or similar.
She tells me her name followed quickly by her life story.
I say "I am not going to have sex with you." She laughs and asks me if I am gay.
I am affirmative and she goes on to say how all her best male friends are gay and isn't it great that I am etc. Blah.
Well, you guessed it, Cheryl the 41 divorcee with 4 kids and an abusive ex husband wants to be a singer, she's tried to form a band but it doesn't work, so she loves Karaoke.
What'd you know Cheryl is here this very night. What else could be finer. Michele has already made her acquaintance the week before, presumably whilst I was " starting to spreading the news, I am leaving today etc"
So it's all one big happy family. Ashley and Cheryl hit it off, he says something like
"Cheese!" ( Ash already had Cheryl's nick name coined. ) "Cheese, where's the real action, you know strip clubs, very towns gotta have a strip club !"
Uh huh that's right Cheryl's an ex- stripper. Anyway she knows just the place. Calls a taxi and me and Ash are out the door and off to the French Maid. Calgary's tabletop lounge. Needless to say Michele declines such an inviting and salubrious adventure. We leave her to sing another tune with some newfound friends and drive off into the night.
I am not sure why I am going there and when I get there I am not sure why I am there. All I know is that the Bar guy Geoff is a spunk and we get along alright so I end up talking to him for about an hour, Geoff discloses that he is dating a 52 year old, I think I wonder out loud why you'd be working a bar if you were dating 52 year old, I mean surely he should be supporting his 30 year old toy boy, this causes an awkward moment and it has become completely obvious that I am absolutely trashed, disorientated and in need of sleep. I then say my good byes and make my way back to the French Maid to collect Ash. So there he is, I knew that he'd still be there, side of the main table dancing area, Cheese on one knee, sunglasses on, not quite ready to leave.
It's now approximately 3.30am we are both legless and hungry. Fortunately we are downtown quite close to China town which is the only real source of late night food available in Calgary.
A quick visit to the bank establishes that my finances are resolutely dulled but able to handle a meal at the late night BBQ house. Thanks.
Snowy our hunched twenty something Chinese waitress who Ash insists on repeatedly calling Sunny isn't too happy to see us, but oh well the deep fried prawns and crispy skin chicken remind us of home as do the Asian greens with Oyster sauce. Poor Snowy doesn't get much of a tip from us and we walk home to find Michele just arriving from a late night bout at the Internet cafe, where she has watched a guy two computers and two rows over bat off to some hard-core porn. Yum.
Saturday, yesterday, such an easy game to play, now I need a place to hide away oh oh oh etc. I am sure you understand.
My head is off centre, balance off kilter and my tolerance just switched to off. Meaning stay the fuck out of my way - anyone.
Wake at 2pm back to sleep at 6pm wake at 9.15pm, watch TV.
Dylan's best friend is Ryan. Ryan has just gotten SF4L tattooed on the back of his neck, so needless to say he likes us which is great cause we like him too. Michele is already at the party and as we haven't shown up Ryan and her decide that they should come and get us. So it's about 10 something and there they are,
"We've come to get you!"
I was in two minds still so I don't know whether I would have actually gotten off my arse and walked on down there but seeing as there was a ride, both me and Ash figure what the hell.
About a month ago we went to another party which I may have descibed earlier in this column ( not sure ), but I'll recap, heaps of alcohol, drinking games, many boisterous boys rumbling etc.
Last night is the same. It's nearly a carbon copy except we are at Dylan's house not Ryan's.
So you fill in the gaps. Just after Ryan drops the three of us off he gets back in the car and goes and buys half a case of beer for me and Ash."Beer" he says upon his return. "Thanks" we say exchanging worried looks.
I am thinking about that story - about the hair of the dog that bit you etc and happily comply with the meter of the proceedings, I mean nothing else has worked to relieve the night before.
When we get there it turns out that the 8 Slipknot tickets that Ryan has purchased that very day have taken him over his daily cash limit and we must return empty handed. This however doesn't thwart us and I am dispatched a second time and just in the nick of time the stroke of midnight upon us to try again. This time I am accompanied by Jen, the vetenary technician who relates a story to me of her day downtown where she has done that little pedestrian dance with a man, you know the one - you step one way to get out of that persons way, they step the same way, and repeat until in most circumstances both parties smile awkwardly and finding a way around each other move on to conclude their original course. However Jen's incident this day leads her dance partner to conclude their jig with the much maligned reframe " Get the fuck out of my way you bitch" accompanied by much arm gesticulation. Anyway that's Jen. She is nice and her money is good at the liquor store. This time we don't return empty handed but we do get a little lost as on the way home as we have to drop a guy called Michael home as he doesn't want to get too out of it as he has the day with his daughter Sundays. Whilst we are lost we actually end up on some curving streets, which makes it very confusing, as they are the first curving streets I have been on in Calgary. Calgary being predominantly a criss cross of perpendicular intersections. Oh blah.
I sleep until noon where I get up and come down the road to Second Cup the establishment where I am now situated. It is now 2.34pm .I been here 2 hours.
Well by the time I got out of that coffee shop it was closer to three hours that I spent twitching like a detox veteran. Just as a postscript to Saturday's party. It turns out the Ryan spewed as well, you remember Ryan, Dylan's friend, the birthday boy!
11.01pm Ash has just walked through the door declaring I believe, that " they are a pack of clowns" This must be Canadians in general, actually maybe not all maybe just the ones that we know.
I'll let you know tomorrow.
Once again I have managed to get this update posted, I know it has been a while and that is why I have included as a once only conciliatory offer some poetry at the bottom of this section. For those of you with literary inclinations. But before that - this.
I suppose the main things are these.
1. Return from Vancouver to Calgary (which you already know)
2. Hang around Calgary wondering where the key to studio is. Turns out it was with Bob, Rod, Rob ( something like that ) the whole time??????
3. Ash gets shitty and worse until the greater powers that be take his ranging as a sign to call in the professionals (locksmiths that is) I do jest!
4. A ha yes. Thanks Giving is celebrated in Canada second weekend in October that added another little obstacle to the path to rock n roll glory.
Back to the Black Swan.
Night Church. Yeh
Passardo. Yeh
Tourettes, well! We thought that the sound sucked complete arse. This is a classic situation and as Ash recounted his experience of it I was reminded of the several times that evening that it had happened to me also.
It goes like this. Tourettes, being perfectionists are unhappy with the gig, so many little problems, so many little mistakes, we fail to take into account the overall vibe that the audience enjoy. The next step is that the show is over and we are then amongst the punter crew.
Punter says " Wow man" That was the best gig, you guys are great."
Ash or Me say " oh sorry man, you know the sound was bad and this and that."
The punter doesn't understand, thinks we were great, we are apologetic, they still don't get it, they say " Where are the Cds? I want to buy both of them"
We say, " Fuck yeh."
Michele has just met the daughter of the principle of her school in Canberra, who happened to expel her at the time. Does this sound like reality? Who knows? The thing is here, Calgary is like an alternate reality, the things that we are doing here are so normal yet so bizarre at the same time. No one knows us, everybody knows us, everybody wants to know us. I shit you not young readers.
Via a guy Michele met in the line at the Co-op supermarket we are now in the position of attending some guys birthday party tonight. I mean they are really nice and really keen for us to come to their party
They say, " Don't worry about bringing anything we've taken care of everything for you guys!"
We say, " OK"
So the drinks are on them.
It seems that the other party accoutrements will be taken care of, this guy has connections.
He says, " I was going to come over before and talk to you while you were sitting by yourself except I was scared."
" You shouldn't have been scared." I said, scandalously attempting a return of those knowing eyes. Not that I was going to engage in anything with this boy and his attempts at getting me to come to a party " About 15 minutes that way ".
Ah no thanks.
So wait there SiK Fuks this next disc is going to blow the roof off the sucker!
Stuff from the couch real time 6.36 pm.
Quigs has a favourite phone booth next to the Famous Peter's Drive In on 16th which is in fact the Trans Canada Hwy.
He also gives girls the Jed -eye. Which is because he is Obe one Quigs nobe. In a kind of Vulcan mind meld way.
Quigs can't imagine Michele having sex which is good because son's shouldn't imagine their mother's having sex, or at least that's what she said.
She ( Michele ) needs a DVD. Now she is talking like Effi. That Greek chick.
They have both split, Michele's going to call the party people (about tonight), Quigs is going to take a piss and then do the recycling. I am still here on the RV couch.
Pantera is on I-tunes.
Dave has just been out in the street fixing his car window.
Many times one runs between them. Adversaries and friends.
Ever tending, eliciting responses, questioning motives, casually talkative
Treading lightly, the earth scared and treacherous
The sun only shining for you
For them not,
Until later, not now.
Now is time for rest
And sleep is a cure as is laughter
And laughter is love
Now a callous guffaw or shallow junket drawl
Nor brawling will do
In time you'll know and the gim will be true
Or shut the fuck up Chiko man! Or whoever, just shut the fuck up and get out of my face.
They play along with you, you them.
Or just shut the fuck up. Not you, them.
And OK, maybe we will play, yeh OK,
But at what cost?
Is this a spin out of prose again or what?
Or not, or why not. Why not but maybe not as well.
Blindly sucking, suckling, feeding and nourishing.
Jump mother fucker! Jump!
Fuck I had just written a lengthy piece about today and the computer crashed so I lost it.
I could recap what was lost but I am bored of all the bullshit I wrote before.
Tensions flare, we get over it, financial crap rears its ugly little head, we get over it, etc etc until we extract from this little baby.
What can I say, I intend to extract.
Well once again I have been slack in the upkeep of my journal. I don't want to be the kind of guy that feels remiss about journal entries not kept. When I look back on this I am sure I will think maybe I could have written more, maybe not. Maybe who gives a fuck I can't read the future. I can hardly tell you anything about now let alone what the forward stroke of the futures clock hand will bring.
Below are excerts from my book of poems etc please excuse the crap, typos, made up words, unsolvable figures ( don't waste your time trying, just move on ) and spelling errors. These have come straight as they were.
Mother a Grecian
Father a cheating gambler
And their shared lover the local town planner
She takes it up the arse
Daddy passes. A card shark
Planner boy's their toy
Takes and gives much joy
A chip off the old block
Takes bribes to cover up family's fuck ups
Traffic patrol at a three way crossing
Guarding secrets like the safety depositing
Of amounts that no one can guess
Short on truth when he speaks to the press
Very often depressed
Mindful of those prisoners he's escorting
The failed romances And the dollars spent at agencies
Runs away from people he fancies,
Transient untrackable collapses
Disasters Two fathers
Confused proof and in a hole pegged
Mother stretched but the epidural affected her legs
Caesarean welcome rent from the womb in a fashion
Crime passionnel
Homosexual oedipual homocide
Do hetrosexuals enjoy? - by Ross Empson
Afgani hashish in a condoms
From out of your rectum
Don't think that they didn't detect you in the airport
They're following you right now
They knew you had that shit in your stomach when you didn't eat your chicken
Mother fucker
You are fucked
Your in Cabramatta you've paid your fifty cents to use the toilets in the car park
And now you are fucked
Fucked while we're on the subject of shit
They plan their day around this?
Not like taking a piss
Same for just about everyone
And what about hoemaroids
No one thinks they give joy
But what about the massachist
Bloods spills are on their lists
Wished for painful poohs in loos
You choose your world
You dig and delve
Another piece all about me - by Ross Empson
The truth about me
The things that I see
Believe me I've thought this through
Do you think that print would do if I hadn't done a mental proof first
Guess again motherfucker
I've got it
Up here
It's not going to take five beers to appear
Three pills do endear itself to my feelings as a new reality
Now
Is the time right?
Sometimes I think you probably wouldn't even get it if you fell over it
So take your shit and stay quiet
I'm not in the mood for that
What I've got to say is questioning our diet
Steadily full of contrite pleasantries
While I try to measure me
Against societies fledgling creeds
In sight of deeds that deride and derail
Hailing tomorrow as greater and yesterday just the fate of haters
Truths in loops under suitcases in cupboards that aren't even really there
And unawares you're here again
Didn't I just tell you to get fucked
Didn't you just pack a trunk dismantle your bunk beds
Baseball cap backwards with your head in the boot trying to shove more shit in your car
So back to me
Piece and quite now that you are not about
I'm getting my diet right too
And I had a manicure
And they did my feet
Feel em
A tired man with tired skin - by Ross Empson
He who says he's got poets dreams
To live with peace hope and honesty
In between things like that,
What about faith, commitment and charity
And about the disparity
Between those that have and have not
Not whether or not you've got the titanium G4
You seesaw
Flee for your......
For god's sake!
You should know why you should be running
Diazapam for motion sickness
It's a pure elixirous potion
Purified, portioned out, packaged
Blessed by parliamentary pedants
Perpetrating pharmaceutical purveyors
Leave your hooch with Hal
And out the pod doors he shall
Eject all the correct
Irrespective of all the wrongful reasons
And playful gym teachers present O.K
The witching hour tour bus, bad videos and breakdowns
Clowns with Mayday distress cones
Raw boneless not chicken soy stuff in a roll
Chopped by their spouses, whose blouses blossom bosoms
Bonifide breasts
Treasure chest chests blessed and bountiful
More than a handful
Sheer staying power
Passionate and pure
Fascinates
So calculate the lure
Syndicate
Suffocate loosers
Flippant happenstance - discard you
Militant action plans
Enlarge your mouth so you can fit the bullshit out
Play the part you cut out for yourself
Scenario - by Ross Empson ( This is a rhyming rewrite of a piece that I wrote many years ago. It is my version of a much older story )
A supermarket trolley and a hard on
Turned worried and cold back in the parking lot
Stops at the shop for to blow his top
Plenty of everything there certainly was
Naughty nurses blowin spliffs in hearses
Note from his sis' layin on the rug on the floor
Godfather to our future without a passionate moment
With the TV and video on top of the water system
Diamond mines can't describe the vibe of this bath and art of the human mind
He's easing the dildo from out of his ass
He guesses he might as well answer that
Breaks his leg and crawls to where he usually dials
Bones on the couch in pain as he passes out
Her brother on the floor when she closed the door
Pretty funny cause she's just dropped some acid
Living rooms spinning into coloured ooze
He's talkin to the cat as if it's a little chat
To where the porno's playing voice-overs saying
No one here's going to ever tell
Her brother's dildo now squirming in and out of her gash
They love a warm bath like me and you
Be between you and your god but you'll have to listen
So hello and welcome back to Uprooted. In this installment I prattle endlessly about lifestlye and the like. I take into account social disipline and the lack of it displayed by myself in many situations. This crap ranges from returning to Calgary after frog hunting ( see the previous issue ) to our gigs in Vancouver and what it took to make this all happen. So sit back and relax, pop a beer, I probably am. Peace be.
We made a lot of new sik fuks and that was good, the other bands were pretty ordinary but they were all nice people and I will say that Scott the bass player from the first band was a very cool guy who reminded me a bit of Nat in that frenetic way.
The frustration level that stems from spending way more than you are earning is only subdued marginally by knowing that Starbucks is the best coffee in town. What the Fuck! Oh maybe I am exaggerating. Who would know I do seem to have lost my mind. I live in an RV park with a bunch of nutcases surrounded by retired people who quietly enjoy the slow pace. Ad the 35 minute walk to the Starbucks and there you have it, a recipe for disaster. We have and I might ad thankfully just settled Quigs into a practice place. It is an hour away and $150.00 per week of shit hole drummers heaven where you can beat tight things with pieces of wood until you go madder than anyone and come home to the RV to sleep it off and then repeat.
As I said before I have lost my mind and the more I don't think the better.
My beer of choice in Canada is a Labatt's brew by the name of "Lucky" lager. Suffice it to say that on finding said "Lucky" beer upon arrival on the continent of North America I have been inclined to purchase it again again and am of the opinion that if one can drink beer that is Lucky why would one choose another brand and be apart from that Luck for even a moment.
I'll keep it short.
A six pack of Lucky in Calgary is $7.50 + tax
A six pack of Lucky in Vancouver is $10.55 + tax
A litre of petrol in Calgary is approximately $0.78 presumably + tax
A litre of petrol in Vancouver is approximately $0.98 presumably + tax
I am glad we are in Calgary, for although there isn't much going on there, it is small, easier to navigate, cheaper and to top that off there isn't much going on there, did I already say that oh yeah, There isn't much going on there which means I think that we are essentially on an enforced band concentration camp. Get shit together for this recording or get off the pot so to speak.
No No No No No No No No No No No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
In the RV Park no one can hear you scream.
The Internet cafe is 40 minutes walk away.
The sun comes out of the mist here at about 1pm, before this it's cold and grey after this it's blue sky clear and hot as.
I left the switch on my metronome on and the battery ran out.
I am listening to Outkast right now.
A, 2 pack of 9 volt batteries cost $7.97 presumably + tax.
Ashley has been experiencing power issues with his Emagic Digi 002 analogue to digital converter.
Quigs has a drum room approximately 1 - 2 hour by public transport away so he goes there daily. This is a good thing.
We sold $130.00 of merch at the Brickyard show last Friday.
On Monday night we went to dinner a woman who goes by the name of "The Goddess" her real name is Ann Marie, she has booked us for a show this Saturday at the Waldorf, downtown tweakerville Vancouver with Cyanotic & Widowmaker.
I have been mixing canned lentils with my brown rice.
I was a bit pissed when I got home from the studio on Sunday night and lost my soap in the RV park shower block.
I made friends with the girl called Virginia at the Clinique counter of the "Bay" at David Jones equivalent.
Michele has just gone for that walk to the internet. C U later babe.
Ashley's grandmother Nin emailed me saying she enjoyed my Uprooted column but though I used the "F" word too often. Sorry Nin!
I called my parents last night.
I have been trying to call Max in London, but his mobile never is on.
The best coffee we can find near by is Starbucks. Ick.
No one has been eating my plain oats, except me. They are a bit boring but at least they are there.
My favourite sardines come from Canada, they are Brunswick with hot Tabasco peppers, I suggest them with brown rice lentils and raw broccoli.
The ice scream sandwiches here at the RV Park make a nice treat.
People seem to drink a lot of soft drink here. Called Pop.
Last night in the middle of nowhere I was approached by a junkie dude to see if I was in need of scoring. I wasn't.
I think I will go to London for Christmas. I miss Max.
There is a package from him waiting for me in Calgary.
Pantera is on now.
Some people have very large RVs.
I suppose I own an explaination of the past few days. My orotundities notwithstanding and alcohol induced demensure aside I will begin thus at said beginning; beginning with where I left you previously.
I grow so weary of myself.
Foot, foot
New age fern Sniffer
Gateway to Mars
Born to Huff Glue
Lord Blader
Astro Bastards
Attraction Deforms Involvement
French Kiss the Dairy Cow
Sideways Falling Down
Stand aside
Barnyard Bonedown
Donna Cum Home
Side 66.6
5 in Line
Goler Rock.
"Hi Ani" I say.
"Hi Ross" replies Ani, "I've got Jello Biafra in that coffee shop" she says pointing, "Do you want to say hi?"
"Ok" I say
"Hi Jello," I say
Anyway to cut a long story short, which mostly isn't my habit, I wander around a bit more giving out flyers and the like then get bored and go home to the RV park. Now Vancouver has a really cool Sky Train a bit like Sydney's Mono Rail except it is useful, that's when I miss my stop and take ages to get home via a beer shop stop. Upon arrival at my RV home there is Michele and Gene just about to leave for the Ministry gig without me, it seems that they have specifically come back to get me at Michele's insistence that I am a huge Ministry fan, which I am, at least I got way into Filth Pig whilst I was working in South Korea in the mid nineties. All that aside I grab 3 of my 6er, pick up many more flyers for our Waldorf show, Ashley palms me a joint and away we go.
I haven't been on about this yet but you should check this out. Last month I was in Morocco
and people were being called to pray
Shit ( pardon the pun ) I am digressing worse than Michele.
Oh yeh my bathroom hero pointed me in the direction of the cubicle he had just vacated
saying I might have an easier time in there seeing as the light was working and the toilet
paper was clustered in half used pairs on the window ledge. Phew! I made it.
The show must go on
At one stage during our set Michele intoned that she felt like someone had taken a shit in
her mouth. Lucky for her it wasn't me that night. Nothing like choking to death on a pile
of steaming liquid fecal matter as it's forced down your throat by the volcity of a rapidly
unclenching bowel. Take it from me. You know picseans have 12 lives, unlike the feline
amoung you who are like, CATS HAVE NINE - yes that's right kids cats do only have nine
lives - compared to my fishy dozen you aspic munchers!
Fuk
SiK
This leads me ever so close to the fact that tomorrow I will be turning 33. Gasp, I here
you. yes I do, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU DO AND SAY!!
Right now you're thinking wow doesn't he look young. Yeh, I get it all the time.
Thanks but you're not the first and you certainly won't be the last to think such a thought
about mwa.
I'll be 93 a long drawnout breath away at most, and there'll be muthafukers such as your
good selves leaning up against lightpole, lighting ciggeys and drawling, "he doesn't look a
day over 89".
Meanwhile I still have my youth, and you'll be balancing your zimmer frames on the curb
while the taxi driver, who you thought was so lovely helps himself to a $100 from you wallet
as you say to him ,"ahhh laddie can ya, can ya" you stutter "help me out with this I've
forgotten my glasses"
and I say again fuck it.
So there it was, the Big Day Out.
What am I gonna say that hasn't already been said?
Did any one see the pretty pink posters?
Look out for the yellow ones that are advertising Feb 7 at the Metro Syd.
At the BDO we were lucky enough to get catering tickets. I mean wow! Food.
We didn't get a fruit platter! We did get a drinks rider. A case of beer and some water and
soft drinks. On the second day we got a tray of 12 Krispy Creme doughnuts. Yum!
Fruit juice and coffee in the am.
Then a plate ladden with everything from gravy meat not sure exactly - veg and bread!
Isn't this exciting reading!
Catering food for Ross Day 2
am see yesterday
pm I was really exhausted and couldn't get back for our arranged dinner time because I was
watching Mars Volta and Poison the Well so by the time I got to catering I had to talk my
way into a couple of chicken bits and heaps of everything else.
After that I checked out a bit of Metallica and the collected our Merch which by the way we
sold 19 combo bags. I was then officially fucked and went back to our dressing room to
collapse in a heap on the floor and fall asleep drooling into my back pack. real cool!
I have to say Muse was my favorite act of the whole thing. Fucking awesome!
Also liked Thursday! and Mars Volta
This girl who talked her way in to the artist entry ended up hanging in our dressing room
as she told us she was friends with COG and we were like OK do whatever so she just hung
around and then made friends with all the other rock star types and had a great time hanging
out. One time when i came back to crash she was hiding behind our door. very strange! she
seemed like she was having a good time though.
I don't think I have ever seen Quigs more happy than in those two days. He belongs to the
Rock World now.
Ash spent alot of time hanging with Fear Factory talking the talk.
Michele did her time watching everything she could as did I.
My friend Brad came to the second day and he managed to meet some freaks who were trying to
give us drugs. I didn't accept but they did keep me amused for a couple of hours around the
Mars V period 2nd day.
I'm meeting him in London then we are going to explore Spain & Morocco for a
month.
When I get back we will have clips from the BDO and Tourettes TV up.
Of course you've been waiting and I've been promising but everything takes longer than you
expect.
Jan 21, 2004
Shit in two days we will be playing the BDO. We have all been working hard in preparation
for these shows and they will go off.
i will promise to bring you many many photos and clips from our performances and other
stuff BDO style.Come back and check this space for the full run down the week after.
Right now I have no energy for this stuff. MUST ROCK !!!
Jan 1, 2004.
The New Year. I stayed at home and watched the Audrey Hepburn Story for new years eve. I am
not one for the purid party scene. I have already had my fill of that kind of stuff. I am
not sure what Michele and Quiggs got up to but I know that Ashley stayed home in his studio
working on Tourettes tracks.
January 9 at Detour to Hell. Douglass St(off Liverpool st) Sydney - down the Spainish end.
January 14 at the Excelsior in Surry Hills with the Hard Ons.
January 15 at an all ages
gig in Wollongong.
It's about Metal for the Brain and my lower jaw.
To cut to the chase - I had worked the whole night before and had 2 hours sleep and a 3 hour
drive to Canberra to play an 11am slot at MFTB. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless
had provided me with a couple of Dexanphitamine pills. This is a presciption for ADD and
ADHD. It keeps you awake. Some of you I am sure have experienced this cheap thrill. Let me
give you a word of advice from an experienced one. If you have noticed that you seem to have
one of those jaws that doesn't respond well to speed/anphitamine use , then I suggest daytime
consumption of these kinds of drugs to be extremely unseemly. I infact do not in anyway
condone drugs and feel that it was,( and has been everytime, I have done so,) a bad
decision to injest these kinds of paliatives. It is the night club philosophy - Dark places
hide uncontrollable physical reactions, daylight exposes them for all to see. YUK!
Fruit water and rocknroll. The Tourettes restorative rock diet! Oh and plenty of Brown rice.
The facts are these Tourettes is 99% drug free. Occassionally we may fall from the way but
mostly there is a job to do, and drugs are not an efficient means to getting the job done.
SAY NO TO DRUGS! Michele for her part has not had anything stronger than a cup of tea for 8
years and as been a non smoker for well over a year. I for one look to her as an example of
the kind of strength of character needed to take control of this kind of situation. Kids!
Do you admire Michele? (I do!)
Then SAY NO TO DRUGS!
So how the fuck are ya?
Today finds me healthy and in relative terms great, good, well, happy, content, malcontent,
incontinent, wishing I was on another continent, wishing that people who were on another
continent right at this moment were actually on this the smallest continent but largest
island holiday resort. Especially Max who I am missing.
More on that later.
Oh fuck yes it's true and in saying so I have some tasty Uprooted backpassage passes in
photographic form for your eyes only. And as The Shine says I wanna be a Bone in Your Body
- oh yeah.
I must continue
Last thursday (11 dec) Tourettes played at the much loved Annandale Hotel Sydney. The
atmosphere was electric and the very enthusiastic crew who came down were vibed to the
hilt to see us. This as always is a blast from our perspective and pumped us to deliver
what we thought was a great show and judging by the two song encore that we were pressed
to deliver the crowd were loving it too.
You'll have to get along early to MFTB of BDO to see some Tourettes action.
Here is a little something from the van to Melbourne. I may have been stoned. I was stoned.
This is a bit edited and not all the ideas make sense.
Ooch did I say that.
What I really mean is that their skill base didn't lie in the general area of shit kicking
and errand boy coffee maker world.
Did you see what I mean maybe I shouldn't stick this kind of crap up here.
Hey there Nov 26th
So we went to Melbourne and played four shows. We videoed the whole thing and this edited
shit will be the first portion of tourettes TV. It is really happening. You'll be able to
link to the wonderful world of moving tourettes pictures with sound. Fuck me.
November 17th, 2003.
Hello and a big bass welcome to Uprooted this fine day in Nov 2003. If you are an alien who
has found this as some kind of time capsule evidence of life on earth in a previous era or
if you are an historian contemplating what life was like back in this day and age, I'm here
to tell you.
From my perspective 2003 is a confusing place to inhabit. Turn the TV news on and be acosted
by a litany of horrible atrocities. Murder, Attempted control by out of control forces of
evil, Attempted enforcement of policy against the majority will, Rape, Rip offs.Blah.
Yeh you've heard it all before.
So I won't fuckin' bore you further.....
November 5th, 2003.
I've got to give a bit of air time to the monopoly that surrounds pole posters in Sydney.
As a free thinking little vegimite I take offence at paying approx $300 - $350 per 100
posters ( this price covers both printing and "distribution" costs if you have someone
print and put them up for you ).
So what do I decide to do. I think fuck that mate!
And get down to the business of printing my own posters and putting them up on late night
runs throughout the relevent areas of Sydney. Now this works out to be incredibly cheap in
comparison ( per 100 it costs me $4.50 paper, $8.00 ink, $30.00 screen costs, and $8.00
sticky tape TOTAL $$$$$ 50.50 ). This of course is excluding my time. But I'm worth nothing
and everything - so that doesn't count.
The situation in Sydney is that there are long established "distribution" companies that
see the poles as theirs. Not that they pay for them - I suppose it's kind of like squatters
rights, sit in one place for long enough and most people will start to think that you belong
there. Well once again - Fuck That!!!!
The above being said these guys have long established areas where the local government turns
a blind eye to this practice ( which is actually technically illegal - I believe Sydney City
Council once sent me an email asking me to stop defacing the City's assets with our
advertising material ).
So prime spots where pole posters are accepted as a cultural information dispersal practice
are keenly watched over, not only by the establishment whose incomes are derived from the
utilisation of this very tangeble public space but also by nearly everyone who pays these
guys to put up their posters. SUCKERS - Spend your money!
Which brings me back to last night. I'm at the end of my run, fairly close to my house and
a guy in a four wheel drive pulls up and asks "Why are you putting a poster over thoses
posters?" to which I reply "No real reason."
He says, "Who do you work for?" Thinking he's being ripped off by the "disto guys" he's
paid his money to - (they garrentee your posters up for one week - except if the council
gets them - or me ). I say "I work for myself"
He says "Well you're covering my poster - I don't like you!" To which I reply "OK".
He says he's going to take down all my poster and I say "It's the law of the jungle - go
for it."
at this point he gets out of his car, I get into mine and in a mirror image of what has
just happened I suppose he takes down my posters. Not that I hung around to see.
Your point oh uprooted one.
I suppose my point is that I probably put up 120 posters lastnight and I'm not sure how
many will be up toady. I nearly don't give a fuck. Nearly. My point I think it goes like
this -
FUCK THE ESTABLISHMENT - FUCKEM' STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND!!!!!.
Blah blah blah
So here's my fuckin rant about the weekend just past. Halloween Oct 31st.
So it was an amazing friday night. Firstly we were blessed with a last minute support slot
in Sydney for the Strapping Young Lad show at the Metro. This was great and some of the
guys from Strapping came down and checked us out again at our Candy's Apartment gig.
8 foot Sativa from NZ were fuckin' great the night kick off well but was running a little
behind schedule. This always makes me nervous as there is nothing I hate more than having
to wait around while industrial DJ types pump my brain full of their "isn't this the best
shit ever" Vinyl and import same sounding shite.
So I digress.
And while I'm there fat ugly oathish bores who believe that they are gothic nightclub
promoters also give me the shits. Especially when they also turn out to be
1. Dressed in patent vinyl
2. LIARS
3. Pathetic whimp shits that rely on their fat and just as ugly girlfriends for protection
4. Liar bean counting fukker cunts & rip off the artist dickhead weasels
Wow I'm glad I got that off my chest. Oh but wait sometimes these guys have associates that
can't get much right either and then are too scared or gutless to acknowledge that they made
agreements that should be stuck to rather preferring to hide and let said Fukker Cunts in
patent vinyl expose their ridiculously vapid flacid selfish selves so that people like myself
feel the need to scorn them to eveybody in the industry and try to make it extremely hard
for these types to ever rip off others again.
Oh and I think the guys name was Craig. Or was it Cunt. I forget.
Well well well - fuck me!
Just as a foot note. Tourettes slammed the fuck out of the 2 am crowd at Candys - here's a
quote from an email I got from a Tourettes fan
just wanting to say thanx again for the invite to Candy's gig - and what a funhouse gig it
was too!! tho' youse walked thru the valley of the shadow of P.A. hiccups, you successfully
bludgeoned us unsusspecting punters with a carcrash of demented, re-animated screams,
screeeches, run-away-loco-motive, gutteral howls + unhuman physical ticks, whilst das
grossenkrankenwagen de-livered the sickening blows to the soundtrack of what frightingly
resembles the noise what a garbage truck makes as it hurtles down the face of the empire
state building.
i had a nice nite of the living tourettes....excruciatingly nice
Tourettes are also heading back to melbourne soon and have 4 gigs line up down there mid
November so that'll be cool. This means of course that we will have to make some more
stickers and this brings me to a sticker photo from the shed -
Also last time we were in Melbourne we were lucky enough to hook up with our street team
down there these guys are great- led by the mighty Mike Vaughan they just keep on working
to get you the best Australian music. the other boys in this pic are in local melbourne
band b9ine.
Hey there November 3, 2003
As I promised a few weeks ago here are some photos from our trip to Brisbane.
October 21st 2003
Wow so we went to Brisbane. I can't wait to stick up the photos of our accomodation. We all
shared one room and it was a walk down the hall to the toilet etc. Actually it wasn't that
bad and we all seemed to be ok at the end. Of course I had a domestic with my partner who
had come along for the ride. Michele's rule of no boilers in the bus is probably the right
one but in this case there were a few exstenuating circumstances. That's another story.
So the photos that you'll see will crack you the fuck up. It's the patchwork bedspreads that
really got me going and the smell of Michele's runners. Yeh I like em stinky. I got me a toe
jam fetish!
So Tourettes want to get the fuck outta the dodge.
And we are applying all our mental faculties to the issue. I mean leaving the country and
trying to sell our brand of "I can't believe it's not rock?" on the supermarket shelves of
the USA and world in general.
Donations for this appeal should be sent to me directly and are gracuoisly tax detuctible.
Fuck we have too.
If you think this is funny wait to you see Tourettes TV. It'll make the Osbournes look tame.
just enough to wet your appeitite and I'll promise as soon as I have the patchwork shots
I'll be back
Love ya
ross
yeh
So I said I was going to give you the goss.
So here it is..
So if your a keen little sikfuk you may have been wondering where the fuk Uprooted
disappeared to. Well that's right it disappeared.
Sue me I've been busy- too busy to bring you a substandard page so I consulted with myself
and axed Uprooted in it's embryonic form.
Here it is though making a come back in an easier for me to handle form and it is going to
act as a kind of insight into the running of tourettes and what we get up to in the background
in the interests of keeping the show on the road. No more bullshit just the facts a I see
them.
Here at tourettes we are a self motivated band and by that I mean there isn't much help out
there from the establishment. My motto is fuk the establishment! And I quote the great Ken
West of Big Day Out fame-
"Ross, this is the thing- if you can stand being ignored for long enough you become the new
box."
Don't understand?
Let me begin at the beginning.
Here is a little story by Mike Quigley to get the ball rolling-
This also doesn't mean that there is no help out there for tourettes. Let me say one thing
and that is
That without the unlimited help we have had from our friends and associates when it comes to
getting the product to you ( cds, artwork, web, education, dvd, videos, t shirts ) there
would only be a fraction of whats been achieved available.
So a massive thanks to all the people who have given their time energy and skills to help
tourettes along.
Ash Cock
Emma Madden
Wayne Regan
Matt Lawrence
John Collins
Clayton Bell
Karen Engel
This list is way to lengthy to keep going but you see what I mean.
THEY ARE BOXED IN BY THEIR OWN ATTEMPTS TO BE POPULAR.- "I know let's start a band that sounds
like the Stooges. Yeh cool man Juice mag said that, that sounds really in right now in New
York. Fuck Yeh we're goona be huge. Man I love the Strokes."
Sounds familiar right?
So they are boxed in never to escape their prefab structures.
They seem to come out of no where and disappear just as quick.
Well my point is tourettes are here, we've been here for a while now and we're committed to
being here a lot longer. We're gonna bring you heaps more music and heaps more opinion.
Listen you SIKFUKS keep coming back to Uprooted 'cause I'm going to tell you all about how
it's done tourettes style.
Backstage shots of what its like in a rock band making it their own way. This is some strange
stuff. Dirty sweaty and particularly unglamorous. Uprooted is the truth about ROCK!!!!!!!
See Ya.
Ross
Well well well.If you've already been here and you're here again I congratulate you for
losing your virginity and for wanting more.
As you can see I'm one sexy dude and I'm out to prove it so send me you sons or daughters
I don't and wont take offence.
Fresh, clean, dirty, sick, disfunctional - send me your misfits and wanna be wankers. Everyone
is welcome at uprooted. I have posted the second and much sort after installment of Timmy and
Pete. Where will they go next what kind of boys will they turn out to be? Not even I know
this stuff. Blah blah blah blah blah.............
Maybe you stumbled here all by yourself. In which case I suggest you check out the Essential
Links above and take a look at Tourettes.
Fuck it! Do some Yoga as well - maybe pirate some music ( take shit for free that you should
be buying - everybody else is doing it. Right! ) - or get the real news at Context Free
Media.
To quote the mighty Michele Madden
I'm sure we'll meet again
love ross
The Real Beach Boys
Syndey Morning Herald July 2003
Let me explain.
My friends and I live these incredibly profligate lives. Always spending.
Spending lives that are paid for by ourselves and others. Here and abroad.
We spend our lives deciding what to do and sometimes accomplishing some of it. Many times
accomplish none.
Look at your friends.
To attempt at knowing your friends is to attempt at knowing yourself.
Or do we?
Are we just repetitious creatures of habit?
Dribbling, drumming, sun drenched Byron dudes. Yuk
The other half have either given up or fall into one of the next two categories.
1. Never gave a shit ( probably through a genetic fault or predisposition towards stupidity)
2. Never had enough money to do anything about anything.
environment
The comfort and dignity of others
Human rights for all
Etc
( Oh fuck I wasn't going down that sentimental rd boo who fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck . Just
leave me alone I want to go to sleep. )
The unchecked overspending of controlling authorities, the paedophilic conduct of clergy.
War. I'm not going to go on.